Therefore, she was all the more at a loss for what to do.
‘If I suggest we pretend it never happened, that won’t work, will it?’
So desperate she was that such a thought even crossed her mind. Her conscience pleaded with her not to do so.
‘This incident is entirely my fault.’
She clung to him. He merely responded to her plea. She despised herself for causing the accident.
‘If you’re going to cause an accident, you should at least do it moderately.’
At that time, she was unable to gauge what ‘moderately’ meant.
She clung to him because she felt like she would die otherwise, just wanting to breathe a little.
The effect was good. No, the problem was that the effect was too good.
As he said, the intense sensation instantly covered up the bad memories. Instinctively, she found herself wanting him more and more.
Even while kissing, she wanted to be closer to him. Even though they were embracing without a gap between them, she felt that way.
She held onto him, refusing to let him go, and begged for kisses again and again.
[Don’t go, please. Hold me more.]
She even pulled at his clothes, asking to be held. Eventually, he embraced her as if responding.
Burying his face in her sensitive nape, he pulled down her dress. The cool sensation when her shoulders were exposed was still vivid.
Leticia’s face turned red as she recalled the voice that called his name while sobbing.
‘I was crazy.’
When she slightly lowered her dress, the kiss marks he left on her white skin were indeed clear.
‘I was completely crazy.’
What drove her crazier was wondering what he thought of this incident. She couldn’t guess at all.
‘What if this changes our relationship?’
The two were a couple, but they were supposed to part ways in half a year.
The thought of parting was already painful, but Leticia was satisfied with their relationship.
However, she was afraid that yesterday’s incident might change their relationship.
‘It’ll be okay. It’s not the first kiss. Dietrian will surely think nothing of it.’
Despite trying to reassure herself, it was futile. This kiss was clearly different from the first kiss in the empire.
Not just his lips, but his lips had touched various parts of her body. Several buttons were torn off, and she had to change clothes in the end.
Just thinking about the atmosphere at that time, it seemed like they had gone beyond their wedding night. It was a miracle they didn’t go all the way.
‘If Dietrian thinks of me as someone special…’
Someone might argue, ‘It’s just a kiss,’ but Leticia was serious.
The body and mind are clearly connected.
Leticia loved him, so she wanted to be touched by him. Conversely, could the contact with her make him think of her as special?
‘What if Dietrian ends up loving me?’
Though she thought it was an overestimation of herself, she was terrified for a moment to the point where her heart sank.
‘That absolutely cannot happen. That, of all things, absolutely cannot.’
The thought of him crumbling after her death was already dreadful.
‘Should I leave, then?’
Leticia immediately shook her head.
‘That won’t work either. If I leave, I won’t be able to help Dietrian. I won’t be able to protect the Principality. The power of the elixir we worked so hard to obtain would become useless.’
Moreover, there was a separate, most significant reason.
‘I don’t want to leave.’
Leticia didn’t want to leave him at all. If possible, she wanted to stay by his side as much as possible.
She wasn’t daring to hope for his love.
She had aimed to maintain a moderate distance, in a moderate relationship. Like colleagues or friends, to part ways with a smile.
How did it end up like this?
‘What should I do? How can I get through this incident smoothly?’
Leticia agonized, holding her head, but despite all her deliberations, she could not find a satisfactory answer.
Thus, she couldn’t have imagined.
That Dietrian had been watching her in that state for quite some time.
Dietrian, who had been silently watching Leticia, chuckled.
‘Leticia, your thoughts are written all over your face.’
Was it because he knew what she was hiding? It had become much easier to read her expressions than before.
‘She probably wants to pretend the incident a few hours ago never happened.’
Yesterday in the carriage, she had clearly been happy with his kindness.
But at some point, she acted as though she didn’t want anyone else’s love.
Initially, he didn’t understand the difference, but now he did. Because he had learned about the curse.
‘So, a moderate level of kindness is okay. But, it must not cross a certain line. Otherwise, it leads to attachment to life.’
Exactly moderately. The level of kindness she desired was just that.
‘In that case, I should indeed act according to her wishes.’
For now, pretend to be oblivious. He decided to act as if the incident earlier was trivial.
‘And I must not show that I love her.’
Since what she fears the most right now is receiving his love.
‘If we can just be together, I can certainly do that much.’
Dietrian glanced at Leticia fleetingly.
‘I don’t want to keep my distance from her like before.’
Their kiss was so intensely sweet it made his heart ache.
If they had never touched, it might be different, but now that he knows that sweetness, there’s no turning back.
He already longed to kiss her again.
‘Should I ask her to hold me again?’
The moment he heard those words, he nearly lost his mind. It wasn’t just a kiss he wanted, but to truly become one with her.
He groaned, pressing his forehead.
‘This could really end up going all the way.’
In his heart, he had already crossed that line over a hundred times. It was strange to hold back when the woman he loves clung to him asking to be held.
It felt too cowardly to take advantage of her distress, so he barely managed to restrain himself.
‘Anyway, I can’t distance myself from her like before.’
To think of going back to being a couple in name only, where even holding hands felt awkward, was unbearable.
Not being able to say he loves her was frustrating, and continuing like this might cause him to lose his mind in a different sense.
‘Would that method work?’
After much thought, Dietrian did come up with a fairly good method.
A way to maintain the appearance of distance as she wished, while still being able to touch her.
However, it required her consent.
Then, a sound of something being undone was heard. Dietrian, turning reflexively, froze. Leticia was undoing her buttons again.
* * *
Leticia started to undress again because she simply couldn’t muster the courage to face him.
If she avoided him while fully dressed, he would surely think something was amiss.
‘Then, should I undress again?’
That thought naturally occurred to her.
If she had been a little calmer, she would have realized how absurd that idea was, but her nervousness made rational thought impossible.
‘No. That seems even weirder. I should just get dressed again.’
Fortunately, Leticia quickly came to her senses. She started buttoning up again and then began to agonize.
‘I guess I should pretend it never happened.’
It might seem heartless, but she couldn’t think of any other way.
Leaving was absolutely out of the question.
Nor could she let that incident become a special memory for him. So, there was only one option left.
‘From now on, I absolutely must not go near Dietrian. I’ll avoid him at all costs.’
She firmly resolved to keep her distance to prevent any more unfortunate incidents.
‘So, I won’t be able to touch him anymore? Never kiss him again?’
She felt incredibly sad.
‘I want to be held, too…’
His embrace was too sweet. True to his words, in his arms, she forgot all her bad memories.
‘I want to hold hands. I want to kiss…’
She was fond of everything about him. His large hands were incredibly reassuring, and his lips were as sweet as if he had been eating chocolate.
‘I’m so sad…’
The thought of giving it up made her feel like crying. Her current mood made the prospect of dying in half a year seem even sadder.
‘But there’s nothing I can do.’
Leticia forced back her tears and stood up. She looked at Dietrian with a very forlorn expression. Dietrian flinched.
“Your Highness, I have something to tell you.”
Dietrian, who had barely gathered his wits, had a tense look in his eyes. From Leticia’s expression alone, he could guess what she was about to say.
‘She’s going to say that what happened between us should be forgotten and that we should keep our distance from now on.’
It was an unthinkable proposal. Therefore, Dietrian immediately responded with the answer he had prepared in advance.
“Leticia, just so you know, I would like you not to worry about what happened earlier.”
“…Yes?”
Leticia blinked in confusion.
“To me, it was not anything special. I did it simply as your husband, to help you.”
Dietrian deliberately chose the words he knew Leticia wanted to hear. It was to ease her guard.
Faced with a reaction completely contrary to her expectations, Leticia was thrown into confusion.
‘It meant nothing? But that’s not like him…’
Yet, part of her desperately wanted to believe his words.
‘Was it really nothing significant?’
She cautiously observed his expression. Dietrian put all his effort into acting.
Leticia, tense and nervous, was completely deceived by his awkward acting.
‘Well, Dietrian has no reason to lie to me, after all.’
Leticia finally breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ah, I see. I’m glad. I was worried that you might have taken it to heart.”
“Why would I?”
Dietrian quickly shook his head. Feeling a wave of relief at having navigated the conversation successfully, he wanted to pull her into his arms but restrained himself. The real challenge was just beginning.
“By the way, Leticia, since we’re on the subject, I have a favor to ask of you.”
“What is it?”
“As you know, I am the king of Zenos. Everyone is interested in my marital life. There are many eyes watching.”
Dietrian swallowed dryly. He tried to appear nonchalant, but in reality, he was so nervous that his back was drenched in cold sweat.
“If it’s alright with you, I would like for us to share a bedroom in the palace. It might be uncomfortable for you, but I’ll be as careful as possible to not inconvenience you.”
“Ah…”
Leticia immediately understood his intention.
‘He doesn’t want to cause worry among the people around us.’
If the newlywed king and queen were sleeping in separate rooms, many would be concerned. She smiled brightly and nodded.
“Don’t worry. Now that we’re married, it’s only natural to share a room. It’s not uncomfortable at all.”
Unbeknownst to Dietrian, Leticia had already shared a bed with him before the regression. There was no reason for it to be uncomfortable. It was even beneficial for him. There was no reason to hesitate.
‘Besides, if we share a bed…’
Leticia’s cheeks reddened slightly.
‘I can fully take in the sight of him while he sleeps.’
Having resolved to keep her distance from him, she couldn’t miss any opportunity to be close to him, no matter how small.
“Don’t worry. Everyone by your side is precious to you, Your Highness. I want to ease their minds as well.”
Meanwhile, Dietrian, who had prepared a series of persuasive arguments, felt as if he was dreaming. He never imagined she would agree to share a bedroom so easily.
‘It was easier than I thought.’
His heart raced.
A new desire began to stir within him.
Sharing a bed was challenging enough, and he thought it would be too greedy to ask for more, but now he found it hard to hold back.
Eventually, Dietrian, with a heart praying to every god in the world, opened his mouth.
“Thank you so much for readily agreeing to such a difficult request. May I ask for just one more favor?”
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