“……Leticia.”
The voice calling her trembled slightly. Was it because of the emotional hardship? The fact that she recognized him first made him so happy that tears threatened to fall.
Dietrian knelt on one knee before her and looked up at her earnestly.
“That’s right. We are husband and wife, Leticia. I am your husband, and there was an accident during our anniversary trip.”
“I thought so.”
Leticia smiled faintly. Dietrian’s chest swelled with emotion. A small hope began to take root.
“Can you believe me? Even though you don’t have your memory, do I not make you uncomfortable?”
“Uncomfortable? Not at all. Rather….”
Leticia trailed off briefly and blushed.
“I’ve been wanting to hold you since earlier.”
“……What?”
“I lost my memory, but it seems my body remembered. From the moment I first saw you, I wanted to touch you. My heart kept racing.”
“……!”
“So… I was sure. That you are someone very precious to me.”
Dietrian looked up at her with trembling eyes. Her gentle, longing voice saved him from the despair he had been drowning in. The small hope that had cautiously begun to bloom instantly filled his chest.
As expected, Leticia was his goddess of fortune.
“You must have been very startled because I lost my memory. It must have pained you, too.”
“I’m fine, Leticia.”
“But… you looked sad.”
Though Dietrian was smiling, his eyes were red. Seeing his struggle, Leticia’s heart ached as well. Losing memories of this kind and beautiful man felt so regrettable.
Just from his gaze, she could tell. He must have loved her deeply.
So now, she wanted to fully embrace his profound love.
“You said there’s a way to regain my memory, right? What should I do? Please tell me. I want to recover my memory quickly.”
“Actually… physical contact is the way.”
“Physical contact?”
“Yes. According to Lord Sigmund, memories can be restored through physical contact. He said to act as we normally would.”
“As we normally would?”
Leticia’s cheeks turned slightly red. How much had they clung to each other for someone to say such a thing? As she became flustered, Dietrian’s face also grew hot for no reason.
‘Why am I acting like this?’
Touching her was something so familiar to him as her husband.
However, since she found it unfamiliar, it also felt strange to Dietrian. It made him as nervous and excited as if it were the first time.
“What did we do exactly? How did we… usually touch? Please, show me.”
“Understood.”
Dietrian sat cautiously beside Leticia. She looked up at him with eyes glistening with unshed tears. Her expression was so captivating that a dizzying sensation washed over him. He nearly kissed her without asking for permission.
‘Calm down. Leticia doesn’t remember me.’
In truth, such yearning was not unfamiliar.
Right after their wedding, like many newlyweds, Dietrian’s blood boiled every time he saw Leticia. Back then, nothing restrained him. Leticia would smile and accept him. At times, she was even more proactive.
After that, a long time passed, yet he still yearned for her desperately. No, he loved her even more deeply as time went on.
Sometimes, he would wake alone in the night and look at her sleeping face. An indescribable fullness would fill his chest, accompanied by the sense of unity that they were truly a married couple.
However, it was distinctly different from the youthful, fervent passion they once shared.
Dietrian was taken aback by the resurgence of desire that he hadn’t felt in a while.
Like during their newlywed days, he wanted to throw himself at her without any hesitation. But instead, he suppressed his longing and whispered softly.
“Shall we start with a kiss?”
“Alright….”
Leticia nodded nervously. Dietrian cupped her cheek and slowly leaned down. Her golden eyelashes quivered, and her green eyes disappeared beneath her eyelids.
He was reminded of the first time he kissed her long ago. In the Holy Empire, on that autumn night when she had demanded a divorce, he had kissed her.
It drove him mad.
Just like it did now.
“The performance will begin shortly. We ask all audience members to remain quiet―.”
As their lips met, the lights suddenly went out with a pop. As if it were a signal, he gently claimed her lips. Leticia, tense, let out an involuntary moan.
“Mm….”
Dietrian instinctively cradled the back of her neck to keep her close. Her fists clenched tightly against his collar. Through the thin fabric, the sensation of her hands was vividly imprinted on his skin, sending shivers down his spine.
A sudden, overwhelming desire surged within him.
He knew everything about her—what kind of kisses she liked, where she was most sensitive. He knew it all. So, he wanted to show the unknowing Leticia just how they loved each other. How thrilling and intense those sensations were.
He wanted to etch it into her memory.
“Ah…!”
Her soft lips parted, and their tongues intertwined. His tongue, gentle yet persistent, stimulated the delicate mucous membrane.
Leticia let out a soft moan. As the kiss deepened, an unfamiliar heat pooled in her belly. Without realizing it, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt as though she might flee if she didn’t hold onto him.
‘To think that someone who kisses this well is my husband….’
He alternated between strong suction and tender caresses, his movements as fluid as if he were playing a melody. Mesmerized, Leticia pulled him even closer. Though they were already touching, she felt parched.
‘This isn’t enough. I want to touch him more, feel him more.’
Dietrian quickly noticed the change in her. His gaze grew darker. He embraced her waist firmly and, almost naturally, untied her sash.
Sliding his hand beneath the loosened fabric, he caressed her bare back, causing Leticia to flinch and open her eyes. Her green irises, reflecting him, quivered.
The heated air that surrounded them shattered like glass. Dietrian, who was about to lower her onto the sofa, barely managed to stop himself. His voice, hoarse and broken, whispered softly.
“Leticia.”
“…!”
“Leticia….”
A plea disguised as her name. No, it was a plea—a desperate one asking her to allow him to have her here and now.
Leticia’s gaze faltered. It was just her name, yet it sounded so seductive.
In the end, she nodded, seemingly spellbound. Dietrian quickly laid her down. With her sash undone, her neckline loosened, revealing the curve of her chest. It was something he saw every day, but today, it felt especially divine. Dietrian pressed his lips to her collarbone and inhaled her scent deeply.
‘Now I can breathe again.’
His hot breath tickled her delicate skin, making Leticia bite her lip. Faintly, music announcing the start of the performance reached their ears. He cupped her cheek and whispered.
“Look at me, Leticia.”
He didn’t want to feel this moment alone. He wanted to share everything with her.
Leticia barely managed to lift her gaze. Her heart felt like it would explode. As she looked into his dark, smoldering eyes, she thought.
“It feels like I’m about to be devoured.”
It was strange. If they were truly a married couple, surely, they would have felt each other’s presence enough in their shared space every day.
Why did this person ignite such thirst within her? Why did he desire her so obsessively? Could it be that she was mistaken about him being her husband?
“Please, Leticia.”
A desperate voice. Leticia bit her lip at the sound of his ragged breathing.
Mistaken? Such earnest yearning couldn’t possibly be a mistake.
Dietrian wanted her. Even though she couldn’t remember anything, she found herself drawn to him.
Now, all that was left was her decision.
Hesitating, Leticia gently grasped the buttons of Dietrian’s shirt. She began unfastening them one by one. She wanted to see his expression, yet at the same time, she didn’t dare to look up.
Deep within, she harbored a bold desire to reach out and touch his bare skin, to plant kisses all over his body.
She wanted to slowly lick her way down with her tongue, watching him grow increasingly restless.
In the end, she wanted to take all of him into her mouth. She wanted to fill her throat with him.
In that instant, Leticia froze.
“What on earth am I thinking right now?”
How could she, a woman with no memory of him, imagine taking a man into her mouth?
She couldn’t believe she was having such lewd fantasies.
“And what’s wrong with my body?”
Just the thought of caressing him made her feel hot below. The rising heat from her most intimate parts made her chew on her lips to suppress her reaction.
“Leticia.”
“……!”
Was she startled by her guilty conscience? Leticia jumped at the sound of him calling her name, startled by nothing more than his voice. When she saw his face, now slightly flushed around the eyes, her heart sank again. The lascivious fantasies rapidly spread.
She wanted to see that handsome face undone. She wanted to hear his suppressed moans. She wanted to watch him struggle to hold back his climax…
“What are you thinking about so deeply?”
He grabbed her hand, which had stopped unbuttoning his shirt. His slightly hoarse whisper sounded like the incantation of a dangerous sorcerer.
“Perhaps Dietrian really is casting a spell on me.”
If not, how could she explain the impulses surging within her heart? Staring into his jet-black eyes, Leticia, as if possessed, placed her hand on his bare chest.
Thump!
Startled by the heavy thud of his heartbeat, Leticia’s eyes widened.
Thump, thump, thump.
The heartbeat felt through her palm seemed to echo throughout her entire body.
This made Dietrian grow even more desperate. While he was pleased that Leticia had reached out to touch him, the way her soft hand hesitated on his body was unbearable.
Normally, he would have taken the lead long ago. But now, without her permission, he could do nothing.
Like a leashed dog, he could only wait earnestly for his master’s approval.
“Dietrian…”
Leticia whispered, her eyes fixed on the spot where her hand rested.
“Why is your heart beating so fast? Is it because of me?”
As she spoke softly, Leticia slightly curled her fingers.
Dietrian bit down softly on the inside of his cheek. Even the sensation of her well-manicured nails grazing his skin felt like a provocation.
He knew, rationally, that he had to wait for her. But his body wasn’t cooperating. He felt like a beast driven purely by instinct.
His fragile patience shattered as her hand slowly moved lower. The places her hand passed over burned as if scorched.
“Did I make you like this?”
Perhaps it was because she had lost her memory, but Leticia’s gaze was glued to his body as if seeing a man’s physique for the first time.
Her fingers brushed over his chest muscles, then moved lower to his abdominal muscles below his navel. Staring at him as if in a trance, Leticia’s hand continued its descent.
“Leticia. Please don’t do this.”
Dietrian finally couldn’t endure it any longer and grabbed her wrist firmly.
“If you’re going to do this, then just allow me. Please.”
His desperate plea made Leticia’s eyes waver.
This perfect man wanted her so desperately. Her heart pounded uncontrollably. She wanted to grant his wish immediately.
‘Why hesitate?’
In truth, she had plenty of reasons to hesitate. Her memories were still incomplete. This could all be a lie.
Even so, Leticia didn’t want to push Dietrian away. She wanted to surrender to his desperation.
So she gently pressed her lips against his. As she softly sucked on his lower lip, she slid his shirt halfway off his shoulders.
Dietrian let out a strained groan at her cautious movements. Leticia stroked his arm as if to soothe him.
“I’ll allow it. You can come closer. Just…”
Despite her resolve, she was still tense.
“Please go slowly. I still don’t know anything. I’m scared. So, take your time.”
“…….”
“If we stay close, little by little, my memories will return. Until then, please wait for me.”
“If that’s what you want, as much as you need.”
For Dietrian, it felt like drinking a single cup of water in the desert. Considering the depth of his desire for her, it was far from enough. But he was grateful nonetheless.
He could imagine how much courage Leticia, who had lost her memory, must have mustered to say this.
“I’ll be as gentle as possible. If it’s too much, tell me anytime.”
Wrapping his arm around Leticia’s shoulders, he slid his hand into the opening of her dress. He gently cupped one of her breasts, caressing it in a way he knew she liked.
“Ah!”
Leticia tensed, her shoulders lifting at the touch on her bare skin. Soon, however, she was overwhelmed by the unfamiliar warmth spreading through her.
‘What… is this? It feels strange…’
The sensitivity that had begun when she indulged in her earlier fantasies returned, heating her lower body once more. Embarrassed by her body’s response, Leticia looked up at Dietrian.
“Di… Dietrian.”
“I’m listening.”
Despite his gentle reply, Leticia couldn’t say a word. Her face burned. She couldn’t bring herself to admit that it felt like she was becoming wet below. Instead, she clenched her skirt tightly in her hands.
Dietrian, who had already noticed her change long ago, suppressed the smile threatening to curve his lips.
Leticia was always endearing, but today, she seemed especially so.
Perhaps it was because she reminded him of her past self.
Back when they couldn’t even confess their love for each other, before they could confirm their mutual feelings.
Back when she clung to him, using the excuse of needing comfort from her nightmares.
“You can relax, Leticia. I would never hurt you.”
Leticia had been inexperienced with intimacy back then. She was scared of the sensations she was feeling for the first time, yet she had begged him to see it through to the end.
She had been so endearing in those moments. Even years later, the memory still tugged at his heart.
Dietrian planted soft, bird-like kisses on her, as if to ease her tension, just like he had back then.
Her dress, nearly undone, slid down to her arms. His lips descended onto her pale skin like petals falling.
Leticia, now half-exposed, clung tightly to the sofa, unable to summon the courage to reciprocate. His lips, which had been brushing against her neck, suddenly enveloped the peak of her breast.
“……!”
The sensation of warm, damp flesh wrapping around her sensitive peak sent shivers down her spine. The thought of him suckling her bare skin made her feel surreal, as if it were a dream, yet strangely familiar.
Leticia exhaled shakily and whispered.
“Dietrian. Did I… really do something like this before?”
“You did far more than this.”
Dietrian grinned as he gently wiped away the moisture left on her chest. Her already sensitive, rosy nipples stiffened further at even the lightest touch.
Holding her in his arms, Dietrian whispered into her ear.
“Think back. To what you said the first time you were in my arms. How you reacted.”
“…….”
“How beautifully you cried.”
Leaning against his chest, Leticia bit her lip. The heat filling her body was overwhelming, making her even more desperate to remember. If she could retrieve her memories, she could accept the pleasure he offered her without hesitation.
“Take me all the way, please. Don’t stop here.”
It was then. A faint, tearful voice echoed in her mind.
Unconsciously, Leticia’s lips moved.
“Did I… ask you to take me all the way?”
Dietrian’s hand, which had been gently patting her, froze.
Leticia clutched his shirt tightly, her brow furrowing. Something was just out of reach, almost surfacing in her mind.
‘I need to remember. This is such a precious memory.’
Though she didn’t yet know what it was, she was certain it was something incredibly important to her. Closing her eyes, she focused on the voices she had just heard. In the darkness, blurry images began to emerge.
A worn ceiling, clothes scattered messily on the floor, ragged breaths, a face gazing down at her through a sheen of sweat.
And most vividly, the searing heat of hands delving into her.
“Hold me, please.”
“It’s because of the nightmares. Please comfort me, Your Grace.”
“Please….”
A torrent of fragmented memories surged over her like a wave. Her heart pounded loudly. The intense sensations from that time seemed on the verge of resurfacing.
“Aaah—”
The aria of an opera singer climbed higher.
The sound startled Leticia, making her shoulders flinch. It reminded her of the cries she had let out herself. Slowly, she turned her gaze beyond the partition. Dietrian whispered softly.
“Leticia. Do you remember now?”
“…….”
“Have your memories returned? Do you remember me now?”
Leticia felt terrible about disappointing him, but she couldn’t lie and spoke honestly.
“I don’t know… Not yet. Everything is still blurry.”
“Ah… I see.”
Dietrian smiled gently, masking his disappointment. Yet, despite his effort to hide it, Leticia quickly noticed the hint of loss in his expression.
Her heart ached.
And so, she decided to muster her courage once again.
“Dietrian, even so, I still want to remember my memories with you properly. Could you… kiss me again? You said you knew all the places I liked. It doesn’t matter where… I don’t mind your touch.”
“You don’t have to push yourself because of me.”
“No.”
Leticia shook her head.
“Right now, not being able to remember you is even harder for me… Hnn.”
Once more, her lips were captured in a soft kiss. Dietrian had accepted her request.
Though she had lost her memory, by now she had grown somewhat accustomed to kissing. This time, their tongues entwined much more naturally than before, and a tender heat quickly blossomed.
Leticia slowly opened her eyelids.
‘I’m thirsty. This isn’t enough.’
Though this was already stimulating, she didn’t want it to end here.
There was something more, something that had existed in the fleeting images from earlier.
After deliberating, Leticia decided to pursue the answer more assertively. Without breaking the kiss, she slowly guided his hand toward her thigh, resisting the urge to pull back as she placed it on her inner thigh.
She stopped just shy of where the most intimate part of her body lay.
Dietrian froze momentarily. His eyes flickered downward, focusing on the spot where their hands met.
“Dietrian, actually…”
Her next words caught in her throat. Being half-dressed made her feel even more vulnerable.
Finally, Leticia managed to speak.
“Actually, among the scenes that surfaced earlier, there was something I wanted to confirm.”
“…….”
“Someone who was with me… touched me there… so delicately. It was overwhelming, too much for me to handle. Yet at the same time, I didn’t want it to stop. I wanted it to go on forever.”
“…….”
“I want to know exactly how it felt. Can you… show me?”
“…As much as you want.”
Leaving his hand where it was, Leticia wrapped her arms around her abdomen. Her fingertips trembled slightly. Soon, a slow, deliberate pressure began to press against her.
“Ah…”
The soft sound of fabric shifting rhythmically reached her ears. Leticia couldn’t bear to look down, so she turned her gaze aside.
Though she had initiated this, she couldn’t understand why she felt so nervous. Her head grew dizzy, and she leaned back against the sofa, closing her eyes.
‘Ah, what do I do? I feel even more sensitive.’
With her vision obscured, all her senses seemed to concentrate on the places his hand touched. Even with the dress still on, she felt as though the skin beneath was trembling. To stifle the soft moans threatening to escape, Leticia bit the inside of her lip.
“Leticia, you’re making the same expression as back then.”
Dietrian caressed her lips with his fingers. Applying gentle pressure, he coaxed her lips apart.
“The day we first touched. You had this same expression then. You were scared but tried hard to endure until the end.”
“Was that so.”
“At that time, I wasn’t in my right mind, and I caused you a lot of trouble. I even hurt you. You said you were fine, but I’ve felt sorry about it ever since….”
Dietrian chuckled softly.
“Finally, I have a chance to make up for it.”
At some point, his fingers brushed gently against the wound inside her lip, as if to heal it.
Touched by the increasingly tender gestures, Leticia lifted her damp eyelashes, meeting his black eyes that seemed to hold only her. They were filled with overflowing affection. Leticia felt her heart sink.
‘What do I do? I like this man so much.’
It wasn’t merely because her soul carried traces of the past.
Even if she had met him without knowing anything, she would undoubtedly have been drawn to him. How could anyone turn away from a man who treated her with such reverence?
He touched her and kissed her as if she were the most precious feather in the world.
His words about making amends for the past felt sincere, as if he was determined not to let even a single hair of hers come to harm this time.
“Hmm… Dietrian….”
While she was being stimulated below, Leticia let out a moan as her earlobe was bitten gently. Her body was already heated, and the mere sensation of his breath brushing against her ear sent a thrilling tension coursing through her. The heat blooming between her legs grew more distinct, and the sound of fabric brushing against fabric grew louder.
“Hnng.”
At the moment his fingers pressed down firmly, a sudden tightness seized her inside. The heat that had been building up all this time shifted abruptly.
It was something far more intense than the subtlety she had felt earlier, enveloping her completely.
‘So this is a climax.’
It wasn’t as overwhelming as what she had briefly felt in the hallucination earlier. Yet, for Leticia, who had lost her memories and was experiencing everything anew, it was more than enough.
‘How could I forget such a memory?’
If she had been married to Dietrian, she would have been in his arms countless times. That meant she must have experienced countless climaxes as well.
Even with the excuse of magic, it was hard to believe she had forgotten such an extraordinary experience.
“Leticia.”
At that moment, Dietrian lifted Leticia’s upper body slightly as she lay diagonally on the sofa. Supporting her back with one arm and holding one of her legs outward with the other, he pulled her onto his lap, embracing her tightly.
“Are you okay?”
After tidying her disheveled hair, Dietrian let his hand trail slowly down her spine. Leticia, her eyes flushed, clung to his neck with effort.
“It’s my first time experiencing this, so it feels unfamiliar, and it might take some time to adjust. But I’m okay. Please, continue.”
Leticia said this because, for now, she could still endure it and also because of the weight she felt below.
Even though multiple layers of fabric separated them, the bulging presence of his penis was strikingly distinct. Just its mere contact made her lower body grow increasingly heated.
‘I want to move. Stronger than this.’
Having come this far, Leticia decided to follow her instincts. She began to move her lower body slowly against his.
Dietrian’s eyes narrowed at her unexpected action.
Unperturbed, Leticia kissed him as though she was trying to seduce him.
“Haaa….”
As she let out a moan that sounded almost like a sigh, his grip on her waist tightened subtly. His dark eyes grew dim, and the hand that had been circling her hip moved leisurely toward her lower abdomen.
Leticia felt both fear and delight simultaneously.
‘I’ve shaken this man.’
Dietrian had wanted her from the beginning, but knowing she had provoked and stirred him herself felt different. It was as if she had successfully seduced a noble king, making her feel like an alluring temptress.
Leticia deliberately straightened her back, looking down at him haughtily.
“Dietrian, are you aroused because of me?”
The gentle smile he had shown just moments ago vanished from his face, leaving it expressionless. Ironically, even with his blank look, the desire he had for her remained vividly clear.
Tracing his eyebrows with her fingers, Leticia whispered softly.
“I’m losing myself because of you, too. I don’t even know why I’m acting this way.”
“Leticia.”
“I keep feeling like something’s missing. I don’t even know what’s missing, but… ah.”
As if answering her unspoken question, his hand delved into an intimate part of her, starting to rub her swollen clitoris in circular motions.
Leticia’s breath quivered. She felt a precarious sensation as if she might fall from somewhere high, making it hard for her to move her body easily.
“Haa… ah.”
Though she was already overwhelmed, Leticia began to move her hips slowly again, half sitting on his hand.
With the weight that had already been pressing bluntly against the entrance of her core, his hand added to the sensation, amplifying the intensity multiple times over. Muscles she hadn’t even been aware of tightened inside her, and her empty walls seemed to yearn, almost clinging for something.
“Dietrian…”
Unable to endure her growing desire, Leticia called his name with a moan.
Dietrian didn’t answer. He only stared at her in silence. His obsessive gaze, paired with the obscene movement of his hand between her legs, created a strikingly lewd contrast with his pristine face.
“Ah.”
Leticia felt a strange sense of shame. His unwavering gaze made her feel as though she were completely exposed. Yet, the fact that even this shame felt oddly arousing was bewildering.
“Hnng…”
Already deeply aroused, it took only a few movements for the climax to arrive. Feeling the heat saturate her insides, Leticia wondered.
‘Did Dietrian notice my state?’
Of course, he must have. While he hadn’t entered her directly, his hand had practically engulfed her, pressing into her most intimate area.
‘Did this happen in the past too?’
If so, had she reacted the same way back then? Overwhelmed by the unfamiliar sensations yet tormented by an insatiable thirst?
Was she embarrassed by the changes in her body being so blatantly noticed, while at the same time secretly yearning to be explored more thoroughly?
‘In any case, I don’t want this to stop. I won’t let it stop.’
Resolving herself, Leticia began to move again but froze abruptly, her body convulsing as she let out a gasp.
“Ah!”
Perhaps it was because the already sensitive area was being stimulated repeatedly, but she felt as though all the blood in her body was rushing to one place, throbbing intensely. Even the slightest touch sent a sharp ache through her.
She no longer had the strength to move on her own.
Burying her face into his shoulder, Leticia exhaled heavily, her breaths uneven.
‘It feels like my mind is melting…’
If she were thinking clearly, she would have left the overly sensitive area alone. Yet, despite struggling with the touches already, she found herself craving even more.
‘Now I understand. I finally know what I’ve been wanting all this time…’
The true nature of the persistent thirst she’d felt. It was a longing to be completely connected to him. She wanted to discard all the cumbersome fabric and fill herself with him entirely. She wanted to lose herself, overwhelmed by his intensity.
‘Would it be okay? Would it really be okay to go all the way? Maybe… maybe it’s fine?’
She couldn’t think properly. Rationality crumbled and dissolved away.
Leticia barely managed to resist her instincts.
‘But what if, by any chance, we aren’t husband and wife?’
Even after such intense physical intimacy, her memories had yet to return. The thought that she might not be the wife of this perfect man was unbearable, as if her heart were being torn apart just from imagining it. Yet, she had to consider the possibility, however slim.
If Dietrian wasn’t her husband, crossing the line would mean there would be no going back.
‘Strangely, it feels like something like this has happened before…’
A sense of déjà vu washed over her. The moment right before crossing the line, the effort to hold back—it all felt so familiar.
‘Please, I wish something would come to mind.’
Not just a feeling, but something concrete, something that could serve as proof.
As she bit her lip in frustration, Dietrian gently stroked her back.
“…!”
The tender, unassuming touch brought tears to her eyes.
‘Dietrian must have noticed my hesitation.’
She felt grateful to him for understanding her heart, but at the same time, she felt guilty. She knew that stopping now would be just as hard for him as it was for her.
“Dietrian, you know… I’m really sorry, but…”
Shameless as it was, after bringing things this far, she wanted to lean on his kindness and plead.
“Could you wait just a little longer?”
“…”
“I think I need to regain my memories fully first. I’m truly sorry.”
“There’s no need for you to apologize, Leticia.”
Dietrian carefully lifted her chin, avoiding her averted gaze. He brushed her tear-streaked eyes gently as he whispered.
“I understand your hesitation completely. Don’t push yourself. I prefer you not to overexert yourself.”
He truly desired her and found it difficult to endure. It was almost maddening how much he wanted her. But he could bear it. From Leticia’s perspective, having lost her memories, crossing this line must seem terrifying.
“We’ve lived as a married couple for years. That’s what marriage is about. If one side insists on fulfilling all their desires, the other side ends up unhappy. In the end, both suffer.”
“…”
“Sometimes, holding back for the other person’s sake brings greater happiness. That’s the kind of love we’ve always shared. A love so considerate that it might even feel excessive at times.”
A faint smile played on Dietrian’s lips.
“You may not remember me, so you might feel it’s unfair, but I can understand your heart just from looking into your eyes. I already feel your apology, so don’t dwell on it. If you feel guilty, it makes me uncomfortable.”
“…Dietrian.”
“Besides, as I mentioned before, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I’m rather accustomed to it. In the past, you were quite… hmm.”
Dietrian paused, searching for the right word, before smiling playfully.
“You were rather harsh with me.”
“What? Me?”
“No, not rather. You were outright harsh. You would tempt me, asking for a kiss, not realizing I was holding back my desire to embrace you. And when I barely managed to stop myself, you’d shake me again with just a single word. Sometimes, you felt like an enchantress who could unseat a king, making me understand how one could lose a nation over a woman.”
Leticia flinched at his words, as if pricked, because she had thought something similar earlier. Dietrian gently seated her beside him, casually fastening his shirt. After tidying her dress, he leaned back against the armrest of the sofa.
“Come here.”
Hesitating, Leticia clutched the front of her half-open dress and lay down with her head resting on his arm. Dietrian wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her waist tightly against him.
Even though they were so close, the sofa didn’t feel cramped at all. After some hesitation, Leticia softly wrapped her arms around his waist in return.
‘This is so… comforting.’
The strong arms that held her, his broad and warm chest, the deepened scent of him, and his gentle touches, akin to soothing a child—everything about him made her heart flutter with overwhelming joy.
‘I loved this man like this. I must have always been embraced in such warmth.’
Before losing her memories, she must have been an incredibly happy person. In Dietrian’s arms, any worry or trouble would have lost its power.
‘I’m jealous of my past self.’
It was a silly thought, but she envied who she was before losing her memories. If those memories never returned, she felt she might spend her entire life longing for the past.
“Dietrian… Until the performance ends, could you keep holding me? Just holding me is enough.”
Having just asked him to stop, now she was asking him to hold her. It was shameless, but she couldn’t help it. Physical contact was the only way she might regain her memories.
“I’m sorry. Really. For being so selfish all the time.”
Dietrian chuckled softly and replied.
“There’s no need to apologize. If anything… today, I’ve been far too impatient. So much so that I can’t quite understand myself.”
Thinking back, he realized he had completely lost his composure earlier. The heat coursing through his veins had felt like it wouldn’t subside unless it reached its peak. Thankfully, the fiery desire had settled, if only slightly. At that moment, a serene melody began to flow from the performance.
Dietrian closed his eyes, focusing on the melody.
Perhaps it was because he had finally relaxed after being so tense. Unknowingly, his true feelings slipped out.
“You’ve always been attractive to me, but… today, you drove me especially crazy. I felt like I might lose my mind wanting to touch you. Perhaps the medicine you took affected me as well…”
Though Dietrian spoke absentmindedly, the honesty in his words made Leticia’s face flush red. The one who had flustered her so deeply seemed completely unbothered himself.
Leticia could vaguely imagine what their married life must have been like.
We must have loved each other deeply.
And we must have been honest in that love. Honest enough to say such things without hesitation.
‘I hope my memories come back soon.’
She wanted to fully feel the warmth of his passionate love. With that small wish in her heart, Leticia tightened her arms around his waist. Accompanied by the gentle song, she closed her eyes.
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