Leticia had a dream. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon. She and Dietrian stood in a garden that felt both familiar and unfamiliar. Leticia was equally excited.
Even though it was a dream, she quickly realized the reason. Today was Dietrian’s birthday. She had prepared a long-anticipated surprise gift.
“A trip as a birthday gift, I really like it, Leticia.”
“The villa isn’t everything.”
Standing in front of the villa, Leticia took Dietrian’s hand and led him inside. She leaned him against the door, clicked the latch shut, and giggled mischievously.
“For the next month, no one can come in. This is my real gift to you.”
* * *
Leticia blinked her eyes open slowly. Applause resounded, and the ceiling lights stung her eyes. As she winced slightly, Dietrian quickly covered her eyes with his hand.
“It’s okay now, Dietrian.”
After a moment, when Leticia grew accustomed to the light, she stood up with his support. Beyond the railing, actors were bowing and smiling at the audience.
‘What was that dream? Could it be a lost memory?’
Making a villa inaccessible to anyone for a whole month as a birthday gift. It seemed eccentric, yet also reasonable.
Dietrian must have been a very loving husband.
Judging by how he treated her now, that was clear. He had seamlessly adjusted his slightly disheveled appearance and was now carefully straightening her dress. He even knelt on one knee to tie her shoelaces. Feeling his attentive touch, she suddenly asked,
“Dietrian, have we ever been to a villa together?”
“A villa?”
“I prepared a villa as your birthday gift. But that wasn’t all. I made it so no one could enter for a month.”
Dietrian’s eyes widened.
“Leticia, does this mean your memory has returned?”
“Then I really gave you such a gift?”
Leticia was slightly incredulous. Just how much did she adore Dietrian to give him such a gift? Then, she chuckled softly. She remembered his expression from the dream before she woke up. Initially flustered, he soon smiled brightly and showered her with kisses. He had cherished her gift more than anyone else could. When she shared the memory, Dietrian averted his gaze, looking embarrassed.
“I was happy with your gift, but… we couldn’t complete the full month. There was an urgent matter in the capital two days later.”
“I see.”
A gentle smile graced Leticia’s lips. Vaguely, she recalled how he had lifted her into his arms. All the way to the bedroom, he had smiled as if he had the whole world’s happiness. Unlike in the dream, Dietrian now was exceedingly cautious. It was likely because she had lost her memory.
Of course, that didn’t mean he didn’t desire her. She had experienced firsthand how strong his yearning for her was. It made her want him even more. She wished he would no longer be so polite with her. She wanted him to openly desire her, as he did in the dream.
“Did my memory return because you were close to me throughout the performance?”
“Perhaps so. But, by the way, isn’t it a pity that you missed the performance? It was something you were really looking forward to…”
“The performance doesn’t matter. I can watch that later.”
She spoke as she took his hand.
“May I kiss you again?”
“…What?”
“Physical contact helped my memory return, didn’t it? If we kiss again, perhaps more will come back. I want to regain the time I spent with you.”
Without waiting for his answer, Leticia tilted her chin up. Below, the actors were performing an encore. Flustered, Dietrian said,
“The performance will end soon, Leticia.”
“And so?”
Leticia calmly tilted her head and lowered it slightly, their lips almost touching. Dietrian’s throat moved in a long swallow. Perhaps it was because she could feel his tension so vividly; a strange thrill filled her chest. She liked that she was the one leading the kiss this time. Teasingly, as if to tempt him, she softly brushed the inside of his lips.
“Does that really matter?”
The veins on the back of his hand gripping the sofa armrest stood out as he exerted force. Taking it as permission, Leticia pressed her lips to his. Her kiss was distinctly different from his. It was much softer, gentler. Yet, that didn’t make it any less powerful.
Dietrian felt like his rationality might crumble at the realization that she truly desired him. After briefly squeezing his eyes shut, he managed to pull away from her lips. He held her back as she tried to approach again and shook his head.
“No, Leticia.”
“Why not?”
“Not here.”
“But we just did it.”
“When the performance ends, people will come. The staff will also enter the terrace.”
“Then stop before they do. Just until then. I need to regain my memory quickly, don’t I? Please?”
Dietrian looked up at her in distress.
“I’m sorry, Leticia. If I give in now… I really don’t think I could stop this time.”
Dietrian, who had been looking at her desperately, pressed his lips to her hands.
“I do love you, but it’s been so long since I felt this out of control… It feels like back then, before we truly became lovers, when I had to pretend I didn’t love you while hiding my feelings. It’s agonizing.”
“Dietrian.”
“Why am I acting like this? Is it just because I’m uneasy? Because you don’t remember me… Is that why? Maybe it is. Right now, all I have to cling to is your goodwill. If that goodwill were to fade, I’d be abandoned.”
Dietrian finally realized why he was so desperate. He was afraid. Afraid that she might never recover her memory. Afraid that she might lose him forever. Even if she found him intriguing now, interest could easily fade.
Dietrian clenched his jaw. If he didn’t, he feared he might pathetically beg her not to leave him, to remember him, to give him another chance to win her heart. The mere thought of her leaving him was unbearable.
‘How is any of this okay?’
Sigmund had said it was fine if a partner lost their memory. That experiencing the beginning twice and courting her anew was enjoyable.
Sigmund was half-right and half-wrong. As he said, holding her hand, embracing her, and kissing her felt as thrilling as the first time.
But the thrill was fleeting. The moment they parted, a relentless thirst surged. He was terrified that this thirst might never end.
“I would never leave you. Don’t say such things. Didn’t Sigmund say my memories would soon return? They’re already coming back, bit by bit.”
Dietrian couldn’t respond. In his mind, he knew Leticia’s words were true. But his heart refused to calm. Fear coiled tightly, threatening him.
“Dietrian…”
The look in Leticia’s eyes as she gazed down at him was filled with tenderness. Though not fully, she seemed to understand his fear. If their roles were reversed, and he had forgotten her, she would have been just as afraid.
‘It hurts.’
Seeing him in such anguish made her chest ache. She wanted to convey her feelings to him completely.
Even if I forgot you for a moment, you are still precious to me. Your pain is my pain. I want you to smile again.
Instead of speaking, Leticia decided to show her intentions through action. Gently, she pulled him to his feet. Before he could speak, she pressed her lips to his. Her soft tongue slipped into his mouth.
Dietrian flinched but didn’t push her away. He simply didn’t respond actively either. More precisely, he couldn’t. He was truthful when he said he wouldn’t be able to stop if they went further. Not pouncing on her was already his limit.
Soft, sweet sounds echoed as Leticia tenderly sucked on his lips. She suddenly paused, a peculiar voice echoing in her mind.
“Acting like you love me?”
“Your lips… they’re so sweet. I feel like I’m melting.”
“I love you, Dietrian.”
The voice that had been faintly lingering in her mind grew clearer. A faint smile appeared on Leticia’s lips. Ah, this was indeed a lost memory. She was sure of it.
‘I really love this man so much.’
She leaned in to kiss him once more, hoping to sharpen the memory further, but there was a commotion beyond the terrace curtains. It was the sound of audience members leaving the theater.
“What a perfect performance, wasn’t it?”
“Oh, but the encore was too short.”
“I wish I could hear the songs again.”
Leticia ignored the distant chatter and continued the kiss. While their lips were still touching, she gently pulled him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck and standing on her tiptoes. She didn’t care what anyone thought, not about strangers whose faces and names she didn’t know. Right now, it was important to regain her memories and reassure him as soon as possible. But once again, Dietrian stopped her.
“Leticia.”
He held her firmly and shook his head. Even he couldn’t believe the extent of his self-control.
The source of his restraint was his concern for her.
It wasn’t the gazes of others that worried him. He simply didn’t want anyone else to see her in a vulnerable state. It wasn’t about petty possessiveness. To him, she was the most precious and noble treasure. From the moment he first saw her until now, she had always been. He couldn’t bear the thought of this treasure becoming the subject of gossip.
Leticia looked up at him quietly. Despite being stopped, she didn’t feel upset at all. His expression revealed his sincerity. She could clearly see how much he desired her, how much he was struggling because of her.
She gently stroked beneath his eyes. He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her palm, murmuring like a sigh.
“I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Then… should we go to the inn?”
“What?”
“Let’s go to the inn. I want to be alone with you.”
Dietrian’s eyes widened.
“But your memory—”
“My memory has returned enough. At least enough for me to be certain about you. I don’t want to delay anymore. I want to know you.”
Without waiting for his response, Leticia wrapped her arms around his neck again. From her delicate frame radiated a resolve not to step back.
“Let’s go. I don’t want to waste any more time.”
With trembling hands, Dietrian embraced her waist. He hesitated, questioning if this was truly the right thing to do, yet at the same time, as always, he found himself unable to resist her allure.
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