Right after Enoch died, a priest came to visit.
“The saintess was very saddened to hear the news. She wanted to send better medicine, but it wasn’t possible due to the opposition from those around her. Please understand that this was unavoidable.”
He said this with a sly smile.
Anger boiled to the top of my head, but I barely held it back.
If I got excited, the knights who were barely holding it together would collapse as well. I had lost Enoch; I couldn’t afford to lose anyone else.
“By the way, Your Highness the Prince. There are those who are concerned about the dead knight. There is something you must do.”
“Concerned about what?”
“Given the reason for his death is rather unclear. You mentioned that the knight was wounded by a monster’s attack, but…”
The priest dragged out his words. Seeing his sly smile made me incredulous.
“Are you really doubting that?”
“It seems that plagues are particularly susceptible to rain. Since you crossed the desert during the rainy season, it’s possible he fell victim to a plague. If, by any chance, the knight died from the plague, we cannot leave the body like this. We must burn it to prevent the spread of the plague.”
After arriving in the empire, I thought I had seen the bottom of the faith of those who believed in the gods. But beneath that bottom, there was another one.
“It’s not just the knight’s body that’s a problem. We should take measures for the envoy who traveled with him as well. Especially Lady Leticia, who is quite worried. She’ll have to move with the principality envoy soon. She’s even mentioned wanting to cancel the royal marriage.”
That was also why they opposed sending medicine; if those accompanying us caught the plague, it would be an even more terrible situation.
Such words continued. Eventually, as my face twisted in response, the priest spoke in a subtle tone.
“I only mean to express my concerns. It wouldn’t really cause the royal marriage to be disrupted, but if something were to happen, it would put you in a very awkward position. You traveled all this way, sacrificing precious lives.”
I could hear someone gritting their teeth behind me. I didn’t have to see to know it was Banessa.
I hurriedly ended the conversation before Banessa could go on a rampage.
“I understand what you mean. If you give me just one day, I will write in detail about Enoch’s death. I can prove that Enoch did not catch the plague.”
Thus, I found myself writing a letter to the woman who was to be my wife, proving Enoch’s death.
That was when I had the dream again.
“I’m sorry. I’ll never pray again. Please save me. Just give me one chance. I’ll live quietly, like a mouse. Please.”
In the dream, I met the girl I had seen before once more.
She seemed a bit older, having grown about a hand’s height.
However, her frail body looked as if it would collapse at any moment.
Once again, I couldn’t see the girl’s face in this dream. All I could see was her trembling back, filled with fear.
“I’d rather be whipped. I don’t mind if you hit me several times. I won’t scream or make a sound. Just please, not my hands.”
It felt deeply unpleasant.
I didn’t know who the other party was, but to threaten that young girl with cutting off her wrists over a simple prayer was appalling.
I wanted to know what kind of devilish person could commit such a horrific act.
Yet, the other party remained hidden in the thick darkness.
The girl burst into tears.
Please, her pitiful sobs tore at my heart.
I wanted to lift that fragile girl up and heal her wounds.
I wanted to pull her out of the cold darkness and into a warm world.
At that moment, something sparkling popped out of the darkness.
‘A shoe?’
It was a woman’s shoe adorned with extravagant jewels.
The last thing I saw was the pointed heel pressing down on her fragile shoulder before I opened my eyes.
“…Hah.”
I was astounded as I looked at my hand gripping the pen.
I hadn’t even tried to sleep, yet I had a dream.
What was even more absurd was the loud pounding of my heart.
It hurt terribly to have left that girl behind in my dream.
I pressed down on my aching solar plexus, trying to calm my wandering thoughts.
Wandering thoughts.
Yes. They were certainly wandering thoughts.
No matter how much I thought about it, this dream had no meaning. I didn’t know that girl. I had never met her. The clothes she wore were even unfamiliar.
So, she must have just been a figment of my imagination appearing in my dream.
For instance, like the protagonist of a novel I had read long ago and forgotten.
As I was about to ignore the dream and continue writing a letter to Leticia, I paused.
‘The protagonist of a novel I read long ago and forgot?’
Something suddenly came to mind.
The little maid mentioned in my brother’s letter.
“Did I dream of that little maid?”
I let out a hollow laugh.
A few days ago, I had ordered Yulken to find that little maid. Even while giving the command, I didn’t hold much hope. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack in the first place.
All I knew was her age and hair color.
I didn’t even know her name. How could I find her in this vast Holy Palace?
As expected, the search failed. Since I had no expectations, I wasn’t greatly disappointed. Unlike me, my subordinates were quite disheartened.
While comforting them, I thought I was truly okay.
But perhaps I wasn’t.
Considering that I kept dreaming of her, it seemed I was also deeply saddened by my failure to find her.
The scenes in my dreams were probably reflections of what my brother had written in his letters.
The letter had mentioned that she should have been standing in the snow in her thin nightgown or that she had been trampled by the saintess in her high heels.
I vaguely remembered her hardships and imagined those scenarios.
‘Is that little maid still in the Holy Palace?’
Perhaps it was because the dream felt so vivid.
I kept thinking about her trembling back as she cried.
From my brother’s letter, I could guess that she had to endure those hardships all alone.
If I had someone to help me, I wouldn’t have to rely on a prince from a foreign land.
‘If she’s still in the Holy Palace, can’t we go to the Principality together?’
Perhaps it was because my heart had weakened after losing Enoch.
Even while writing a letter to Leticia, I couldn’t stop worrying about her.
‘I have people to share my hardships with, yet it’s so burdensome for me… How difficult must it have been for her to face the saintess’s tyranny all alone?’
There might have been even more torment than what I saw in the dream.
‘Before leaving the Holy Empire, I have to search for her as much as I can.’
I impulsively made that resolution.
Enoch’s death had left a deep scar on me. I no longer wanted to lose anyone else.
If it was someone who had shared my brother’s last moments, I wanted to protect her even more fervently.
* * *
Contrary to my determination, searching for her once again fell to the back of my mind.
Leticia, the daughter of the saintess, couldn’t accept Enoch’s death and kept nitpicking at everything.
She even claimed that we should cut into Enoch’s corpse to reveal the cause of death.
“To truly understand the cause of death, we must split open the body. The organs of corpses that succumb to the plague are all rotten…”
Upon hearing that, I knelt before the priest who delivered the message.
“Cutting into the corpse? Please reconsider that. I beg you to have mercy on Enoch’s family who are waiting for him in this foreign land.”
The dignity of a king didn’t matter at all.
I had to deliver Enoch’s body intact to Julia, who had lost her brother.
Losing my brother forever was enough for me alone.
The problem was that my subordinates were deeply shaken by this.
Realizing this, I subsequently insisted on one-on-one meetings with the priest. I dismissed even the guards and sent all my subordinates away.
Thus, I swallowed everything alone, and after much effort, I was able to protect Enoch’s body.
During that process, I couldn’t rely on anyone.
On the day I finally received permission for Enoch’s funeral, I lay down on the bed for the first time after being awake for a full week.
I forced my eyes to close, but less than half an hour passed before I opened them again.
For some reason, I couldn’t breathe. A fear washed over me that I might die just like this.
“Hah, huh.”
I gasped as I buried my face in the pillow. I felt like I was going to die from the terror.
I wanted to scream, but I bit my teeth and held back my cries.
Because.
I was a king.
I had to be the will of everyone.
Everyone was looking at me.
I couldn’t show any signs of pain.
“Haah, huff.”
I lay straight down and forced myself to breathe deeply.
As I forcibly opened my blocked breath, it felt as if my ribs were being pricked by iron skewers.
I clenched my fists tightly enough that my nails dug into my palms. Tears welled up from the pain.
“Ugh.”
I instinctively realized it.
I was collapsing.
This time, I wouldn’t be able to hold on.
I needed help.
Anyone would do.
It didn’t matter if they weren’t right by my side.
Even an imagined presence would be enough.
Please, I wanted someone to listen to my story…! And at that moment, someone came to mind.
“I’m sorry…”
In the darkness, that pitiful figure begging for someone.
The frail blonde girl.
Surprisingly, I felt a sense of relief.
You’re just like me.
I’m not alone…
Even in the midst of agonizing pain, I tried with all my might to envision her. I tried to resurrect even the tiniest trace of her.
The clearer she became, the fear that had engulfed me began to slowly melt away.
Hot tears flowed down my cheeks. As my whole body went limp, I lost consciousness.
* * *
After that night, I naturally found myself thinking of her whenever I struggled.
More precisely, I imagined her as she would be at nineteen, now an adult.
Though all I knew was her frail back and thin blonde hair, I could still create an image if I recalled the memories from the letter my brother had sent long ago.
Every day in the Holy Empire remained arduous, but thinking of her past, her life, and her present made it bearable.
You endured those harsh times.
So, I should be able to do the same.
In my imagination, she often smiled. The corners of her mouth were vivid even against her blurred face.
Though only for a fleeting moment, I was surprisingly happy during that time.
As the moments of being comforted by the imagined her increased, my desire to meet her grew stronger.
I truly wanted to make her smile. I wanted to bring happiness to her, who had been a source of comfort to me.
The problem was time.
After the royal marriage was confirmed, the surveillance at the secondary palace intensified. The paladins watched my every move. There was no time to search for her while avoiding the saintess’s gaze.
At first, I was very anxious.
But at some point, I let go of my heart.
It just happened naturally.
You could call it a premonition.
Even if I couldn’t meet her this time, I felt a certainty that I would be able to meet her someday.
You are strong enough to endure the abuse of Josephina all on your own at such a young age, and although I might not be as strong as you, I could endure by thinking of you.
I would surely find you someday.
I thought it might be a kind of escapism, but it didn’t matter.
As long as she existed for me as hope.
* * *
News arrived from the Holy Palace.
Leticia, who had constantly rejected me, finally said she would meet with me.
Upon hearing the news, I meticulously checked my jewelry.
I was prepared to do anything to make a good impression on her.
To protect my increasingly weary subordinates, I had to appease Leticia and finalize the royal marriage.
“I’m truly sorry, Your Majesty. We are too weak to endure such humiliation…”
Yulken noticed my intention to care for their growth, which wasn’t like me, and his eyes reddened.
“Think of it not as humiliation but as an opportunity. I see it that way too.”
“An opportunity?”
“She’s the daughter of the saintess. If she opens her heart to Genos, it will undoubtedly be a great strength for all of us. If things go well, we could carry a mighty empire on our backs.”
“The daughter of the saintess is eager to devour our Genos.”
“Do you know? Leticia might actually take quite a liking to me. As you said, I seem to be looking rather good today.”
At my jest, Yulken looked at me as if he couldn’t believe it.
His expression was reminiscent of my kind-hearted brother looking at me from long ago, and I burst into laughter.
“Haah. I’m glad you have the leisure to joke, but…”
“There’s no reason not to have leisure. After all, I’m going to meet a bond made by the saintess.”
I patted Yulken on the shoulder, who was letting out deep sighs.
“I’ll handle the daughter of the saintess, so you need to soothe everyone’s hearts. It won’t be easy, but persuade them to forget the past and accept Leticia as their queen. That is ultimately the path for our Genos.”
“…I will obey your command.”
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