The longer she slept, the more Dietrian found himself drowning in regrets, over and over again.
He should have opened up to her about everything much sooner. Perhaps then, she wouldn’t have collapsed.
Without any hesitation, as soon as she woke up, he immediately laid bare all truths.
“In truth, I have known of you since seven years ago. My brother often wrote of you in his letters.”
“……”
“After he passed away, I tried not to think of you. But then I learned that you had saved Enoch.”
Ahwin told him that Leticia’s sleep was due to her being the saint’s daughter.
Meaning, it had nothing to do with Dietrian.
But he couldn’t bring himself to believe those words. The assurances that Leticia would be okay became increasingly doubtful.
“So, I rushed to the central temple. The moment I saw you collapsed, I was certain. You were the maid of the story my brother had told.”
Unlike his anxiety, his subordinates eagerly awaited the day Leticia would awaken.
“Once Your Highness awakens, we will hold a proper welcome party, and swear our loyalty.”
Listening to his excited subordinates, he wondered why he felt so unease.
Because he loved her? No, that alone wasn’t enough.
It would have been believable if he had already lost her once.
So, he spilled everything. Without leaving out a single detail.
Every moment spent with her.
Even if she pushed him away, he did not want to live with regrets anymore.
“At the tea party, I saw the bloodstain on your dress. I realized then that the saint was harming you. But.”
Dietrian momentarily closed his eyes, holding back the surge of emotions.
“I had to leave without doing anything. It drove me mad. Then, I saw the note you had sent.”
Leticia looked at him blankly.
She hadn’t understood a word he said from the start. Harm, tea party, wounds. These words didn’t seem to penetrate her thoughts but bounced right off.
It was like listening to a foreign language, hearing the sounds but not grasping the meaning.
‘Am I still dreaming?’
That thought even crossed her mind.
“That day, I wanted to tell you that I knew about your past. But then you mentioned divorce…”
“……”
“It wasn’t easy to speak. Regardless of the reason, I had stayed by your side without permission. I was afraid of not being forgiven. Just a few more days, I thought of asking for a reprieve. No, I intended to tell you everything the day you fell asleep. But when I returned, you were… And ten days had passed.”
Her realization that this wasn’t a dream came slowly but surely through his desperate voice.
‘Julios wrote about me in his letters? Because of that, Dietrian knew all along the life I’ve been living…’
In search of the blonde priestess to heal the ailing Enoch, he recognized her.
Through a series of events that followed, Dietrian became aware of her entire past.
Meaning, he had never once hated her.
“Gasp.”
Leticia gasped for air, her back pressed tightly against the chair. She was so shocked she couldn’t breathe, frozen solid.
‘Dietrian doesn’t hate me?’
She couldn’t believe it, her lips merely quivered.
Meanwhile, Dietrian, observing her reaction, tensed up as well. Her posture, pressed against the chair, seemed as if she was trying to avoid him.
“Leticia?”
He called her gently, but Leticia said nothing. She just looked at him, pale-faced.
“……Your Highness, I’m sorry, but could you please leave for a moment?”
“……Yes?”
“I want to be alone.”
She even issued an order for him to leave.
Dietrian felt as if he had been struck on the back of his head.
“Please, Your Highness.”
“……Understood.”
He managed to get up, staggering slightly, suppressing the urge to grasp the hem of her skirt.
Thud. The door closed.
Leticia clenched her eyes shut tightly. Sliding down, she collapsed onto the floor, burying her face in her hands. She breathed out in heavy gasps.
“It doesn’t make sense.”
Her heart felt like it was about to burst.
“Dietrian doesn’t hate me?”
And this isn’t a dream? In disbelief, she pinched her forearm, twice, hard, yet all she felt was pain.
“This isn’t a dream.”
Tears welled up as she wrapped her already reddened forearm. As if waiting for this moment, a memory engulfed her instantly.
“Then, may I proceed as I wish from now on?”
Their first kiss after her regression.
“You said you needed practice, so as I desire.”
“As much as practice is needed, is it alright if I reach out to you?”
Back then, she took his words literally.
He must have said that because he found her distasteful, truly needing practice.
“Leticia.”
“Close your eyes.”
Thus, she tried not to place much importance on what followed.
The warmth that had encircled her neck, the fluttering black pupils, his lips softly enveloping hers.
The soft tongue that invaded her mouth, the chill she felt as it brushed against her tender mucous membrane.
Unknowingly pressing her body close to him, when he hesitated before firmly embracing her waist.
Their bodies tightly pressed together, and the kisses that followed without end.
She tried to think lightly of it, assuming it was just his kindness.
If he never hated her. If, as he said, he had met her that day out of deep concern for her injuries.
‘Then, the meaning of that kiss.’
Leticia clenched her eyes shut. She didn’t want to think about it any longer. Whatever the conclusion, it would be unbearably sweet.
“Because I met you.”
“Leticia. My wife, my person…”
“Don’t go… Leticia.”
Both dreams and reality were too overwhelming for her.
She felt like she might die from the excitement, yet she was scared by it prematurely.
She was terrified. Whether it was alright to feel this thrilled.
She felt like a butterfly dying in honey.
Even as she oscillated between heaven and hell countless times, one thing was certain.
Even before her regression, Dietrian, having received Julios’s letters, knew about it.
* * *
Dietrian came out with a soulless expression.
His legs gave out, and he leaned on the carriage for a moment, repeatedly dragging his hands down his face.
Then, abruptly turning his head, he looked at the firmly closed door, reaching out towards the doorknob.
But he only grasped the handle, ultimately unable to turn it. His desperate eyes fixed on the closed door.
Every time he gathered the courage to open it.
“I want to be alone.”
“Please, Your Highness.”
As if waiting for him, that cold declaration filled his head. The sight of her retreating with a pale face, recoiling, accompanied it. Dietrian clenched his teeth.
‘Was I always such a weak person?’
He thought he had experienced everything in life. Yet, a few words from her seemed to crumble his entire world.
‘Please, Leticia.’
Leaning his forehead against the carriage, he breathed out shakily.
Hoping, desperately hoping, that Leticia would forgive him. That she would give him one more chance.
While he hoped and hoped.
Beyond the thin wall, Leticia was feeling thrilled, recalling every word and action he had made.
* * *
“If Dietrian has never hated me… even bringing up Sir Julios’s story during the tea party…”
Previously, she had simply thought it was because of his kindness.
“He did it to gauge my reaction, having no other choice.”
Leticia’s cheeks flushed red as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand.
“After saying his farewells, the way he stormed out the door…”
It was because he was worried about her wounds, angry at Josephina for hurting her.
“And the next morning after our first night, when he said it might be better to kiss again since I didn’t believe his words.”
It was out of frustration that she didn’t trust him, sincerely suggesting it. And finally.
“I know it’s hard for you to believe me right now. But please, I beg you to trust me.”
“It’s not just because I’m affectionate… It’s not that.”
“It’s because you are, to me, incredibly precious.”
Precious, precious, precious… Those tender whispers echoed in her head numerous times.
“What should I do? It’s too wonderful!”
Covering her mouth, Leticia squirmed in delight.
To Dietrian, she was a precious being.
She wanted to boast to the whole town that her husband finds her precious, but since she couldn’t, she ended up hitting the chair in frustration.
“Ah, I’m so happy.”
Leticia smiled brightly, overwhelmed with emotion. Her green eyes sparkled like stars with excitement.
If Dietrian saw her now, his soul would have left his body ten times over from her loveliness.
“It’s really a blessing to have come back to the past.”
Of course, Leticia knew well.
That Dietrian’s feelings might not be as deep as hers.
That it was probably just respect for her as his wife.
But still.
“He doesn’t hate me. That’s something.”
Just knowing he didn’t consider her a source of pain was enough to make her happy. Leticia placed her hand on her diaphragm and whispered softly.
“Dietrian, my husband, my person…”
As if the whisper was a spell, happiness swelled in her heart, repeating it just like in her dream. After savoring that sweet emotion for a while, Leticia lifted her eyelids.
A different dream she had completely forgotten about, due to her overwhelming affection for Dietrian, came back to her.
“Now that I think about it, in my last dream…”
A woman she had never seen before, yet strangely familiar, appeared and said,
[Because you are my true representative.]
Leticia blinked in confusion.
“Representative?”
True representative, wasn’t that something said about saints? Reflexively looking down at her bracelet, Leticia’s eyes widened.
“How can this be…”
The cracked black gem was shining brilliantly. Flawlessly and perfectly.
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