I watched in confusion as her green eyes filled with tears.
‘Why…?’
Thankfully, I managed not to say the words out loud.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I had directly mentioned my brother to her. The realization made my heart pound wildly.
“Now that I think about it, my brother passed away seven years ago, in the Holy Empire. It wasn’t a small event, so perhaps you heard about it as well…”
A single tear, held back until now, fell.
I could say nothing more. She didn’t even seem to realize she was crying.
After a moment, she clutched the teddy bear lightly.
Without saying a word, she turned away.
The teddy bear remained nestled behind her back.
I was losing my mind.
I wanted to ask her if she knew my brother, what her tears meant, if she was truly the young maid from my brother’s past.
I didn’t know how I managed to reach the table. With trembling hands, I poured a glass of water. Drinking the cold water brought me some clarity, but my heart still raced, pounding as if it would burst.
Thud, thud, thud.
The sound of a drum echoed through my body.
Until she fell asleep.
* * *
After the relief efforts were completed, the official reward process began.
We handed out rewards to those in charge according to their contributions, and for a few who had excelled, we even granted titles.
Some members of the Elder Council expressed concerns that the rewards were too excessive for something that should have been expected, but I didn’t see it that way.
This was an investment.
In the future, when another disaster struck, people would remember what kind of rewards were given to those who stood at the forefront. They would strive to earn merit more actively.
Once the overall plan was finalized, and I felt that everything was settled, I said to the chancellor,
“I’m thinking of stepping back from state affairs for a few days. You could call it a vacation of sorts.”
The chancellor looked surprised and asked,
“A vacation, Your Majesty? Are you serious?”
“Well, with the relief efforts wrapped up and no pressing issues at the moment, I figured it was a good time to rest. But if you think it’s unwise, I won’t push for it…”
“Unwise? Not at all! You should take not just a few days but a few weeks off! You haven’t rested even for a single day in the past seven years!”
He was right.
Since becoming king, I had never taken a break.
Many of my ministers had worried about my health, seeing how relentlessly I drove myself.
While I still believed their concerns were exaggerated, this time I had a real reason to take a break.
“Forget about complicated matters for now and take a trip to the countryside. How about a hot spring? Nothing beats a hot spring in this cold winter. Just give the order, and we’ll prepare everything right away.”
“Perhaps because I returned from the Holy Empire not too long ago, I don’t feel like traveling far. I plan to rest quietly in the palace.”
“In the palace?”
“I have a home here. There’s no need to travel far. What place could be more comfortable than my own home?”
“A home… is comfortable, indeed, but…”
The chancellor looked at me, visibly perplexed.
It was understandable.
Though it had been several months since my return from the Holy Empire, the chancellor couldn’t imagine my home as a comfortable place for me.
Especially because of Leticia, the daughter of the Saintess.
“Your Majesty, perhaps you should reconsider. It’s been seven long years since you last took a break.”
He cautiously tried to persuade me.
“If you’re concerned about Her Majesty, how about entrusting her to my wife? If Her Majesty spends time with noblewomen, she might open up more easily.”
“I’m taking this time off *to* spend with her. What meaning would there be in leaving her with others?”
After what had happened a few days ago, I had made up my mind.
I was determined to uncover the truth of her past.
In my heart, I was already convinced that she was the young maid my brother had met all those years ago.
While I didn’t need more evidence for myself, I needed undeniable proof to convince others.
The investigation I had tasked Yulken with was progressing slowly due to the weather.
Even once the snow melted, sending someone to the Holy Empire would take time.
Until then, I had decided to take matters into my own hands and learn about her personally.
To do that, I needed more time with her—twenty-four hours a day wouldn’t be enough.
* * *
On my way back after the meeting, I ran into her in the hallway.
Normally, I only saw her late at night, so seeing her in the sunlight felt strange.
She was wearing a light cardigan, which seemed too thin for the cold outdoors.
“Are you going for a walk?”
Leticia seemed momentarily surprised to see me but quickly returned to her usual cold demeanor.
Without a word, she moved to pass by me as if she hadn’t seen me.
Unlike usual, I quickly stepped in front of her, blocking her path.
She stopped, glaring at me.
“What do you want?”
“I thought I might accompany you on a walk through the garden.”
“What?”
“The camellias in the western garden are blooming beautifully. Would you care to join me for a stroll there?”
Despite her sharp tone, I smiled warmly, unfazed.
“I grew up in this palace. I know all the hidden gems, the places no one else knows. I’m sure you would enjoy them.”
“I don’t need that.”
“But—”
“I said I don’t need it!”
She snapped at me and walked briskly past without another glance.
“Leticia!”
I quickly followed after her.
Her pace quickened, as if she were trying to shake me off.
I also sped up.
The sudden chase in the middle of the day drew bewildered stares from the people around us.
I waved them off with a smile, signaling that it was nothing to worry about, then resumed following her.
Suddenly, she stopped.
She turned around, clearly irritated.
“Why are you following me? I said I don’t need your guidance!”
“I’ve given up on the guiding part, but I’m concerned about you.”
“Concerned? What for—”
Before she could finish, I quickly took off my scarf and wrapped it around her neck.
“It’s still quite cold out.”
Before she could remove the scarf, I draped my coat over her shoulders.
“You seemed to be sensitive to the cold last time, and going out dressed like this will surely make you sick. Please stay warm.”
“I don’t need—”
“The clothes are innocent. If you fall ill again, I’ll be the one to nurse you back to health. Wouldn’t you prefer wearing my clothes to having me constantly by your side?”
Her words caught in her throat, and she scowled deeply. I gently took hold of her hands, which were trying to undo the coat buttons, and said softly, as if engraving the words into her.
“I told you once in the desert. You can push me away. You can do whatever you like to me.”
“…”
“But you mustn’t get hurt. You mustn’t suffer.”
She flinched, then looked up at me. The sight of her growing calm, just like that time, deepened my smile.
I resisted the urge to kiss her forehead and instead said,
“Have a pleasant time. If you ever need a guide through the garden, just let me know.”
“…”
“I have a few days of free time now. If there’s anything else you need, whatever it may be, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll do my best to help.”
* * *
She didn’t return until much later. Though every fiber of my being wanted to watch over her from afar, I held myself back. I felt like a loyal dog guarding its master’s home. When she finally entered the room, I was almost relieved I didn’t have a tail to wag.
The moment she saw me, she asked directly,
“You said you have free time for a few days? What does that mean?”
Her tone was sharp, but the fact that she was asking me anything at all made me so happy that I couldn’t help but brighten.
“It means exactly that. I’ve taken a few days off. Is there something you need?”
“There is.”
She stared at me, her gaze unwavering.
“I want you to stop bothering me.”
“What?”
“Exactly what I said. I don’t need the scarf, the coat, or the teddy bear. Stop doing these things.”
“Leticia—”
“I don’t like you. I don’t. We’re stuck sharing a bedroom because we’re married, but I don’t want to be involved with you beyond that. So from now on, stay away from me. Stop caring about me.”
She threw the coat and scarf onto the table, almost as if discarding them.
The scarf slipped gently to the ground.
I stared at it for a moment.
Though I had expected her coldness, seeing the scarf discarded like that felt like my heart had been trampled on.
Slowly, I bent down to pick it up.
“I know.”
I murmured as I fiddled with the scarf, which still held some of her warmth.
“I know you don’t like me. Given that this was a marriage you didn’t want, it’s understandable. But still, I want you to find some happiness here, even if it’s just a little. And if possible, I hope you’ll give me a chance.”
“If you know I hate you—”
She cut me off coldly.
“Then stop pretending. Don’t act like you genuinely care about me.”
* * *
I decided to become shameless.
It would be a lie to say her words didn’t hurt. She had a way of cutting deeper than I could anticipate.
If my heart were visible, it would be torn and ragged from all the wounds.
But what could I do? I couldn’t give up.
The next morning, I woke up early to prepare a tea set.
I boiled water and carefully brewed the tea myself. Once it was steeped properly, I cooled it with cold water so it wouldn’t be too hot.
When I handed her the teacup, she blinked sleepily, staring up at me in confusion.
“A fine tea from Valens just arrived. It’s known for raising body temperature and is recommended for those sensitive to the cold. I hope you’ll drink it regularly.”
She glanced at the tea set, noticing the effort I had put into preparing the tea leaves and boiling the water, and looked at me incredulously.
“You want me to drink this?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“The tea you made?”
“I may not look it, but I’m actually quite good at—”
“No, thanks.”
She pulled the blanket over her head again. Still, I didn’t give up. I kept trying to reach out to her in every way I could.
“Today, I asked the chef to prepare a variety of salads. I noticed you didn’t seem to enjoy meat much.”
“Whether I eat or not, just leave me alone.”
“Are you planning to skip meals again? If my presence makes you uncomfortable, I’ll leave. But you need to eat properly. You’re already lacking in strength.”
“I told you to stop bothering me.”
Her response was harsh, but my efforts paid off in a small way. Her breakfast portion was noticeably larger than usual. It seemed the food I had instructed the chef to prepare suited her taste.
Encouraged by that small victory, I became even more determined to figure out what she needed.
Eventually, I found myself stopping her again as she was about to head out for a walk.
“What now? What are you trying to do this time?”
“I brought ear muffs. I noticed you seemed to find scarves uncomfortable, so I thought these might be better. If you allow me, I’d like to help you put them on.”
She looked at me with an exasperated expression as I smiled at her.
Deciding that trying to argue would be futile, she simply shook her head, seemingly resigning herself to my persistence.
Sensing the opportunity, I carefully placed the earmuffs over her ears.
Once again, she began to scold me with those sharp words from her pretty lips.
“Why have you been acting like this for the past few days? Didn’t I tell you to stop pretending? Did you already forget what I said?”
“Pretending? No, I haven’t. I’ve never been anything but honest with you.”
“Don’t make me laugh. Have you forgotten who I am? I’m the daughter of Josephina, the Saintess of the Holy Empire. The daughter of the woman who killed your brother! And yet, you want to be kind to me?”
“Yes. That’s right. Because you are my wife.”
I ignored her biting remarks as I gently adjusted the earmuffs and fastened the strap under her chin.
The black fur of the earmuffs suited her golden hair perfectly.
She looked so lovely that I nearly broke into a broad smile.
I quickly composed myself, returning to a serious expression.
She misinterpreted my change in demeanor and smirked bitterly.
“Ah, finally, you’re coming to your senses. You and I will never be close. So stop this nonsense about playing house. And don’t call me your wife anymore.”
“Hmm, yes. I understand.”
I decided to back off for now. After being rejected by her repeatedly, I had learned something.
No matter how determined I was to be shameless, I couldn’t push her too far.
If I crossed the line, she would reject even my genuine attempts to care for her, just like when she had thrown the scarf away a few days ago.
“Don’t just say it—actually wake up and remember who you’re dealing with. Don’t forget that.”
With that, she turned abruptly and walked away, her steps quick and light. Even her retreating figure looked so endearing that I couldn’t help but smile softly.
‘I know. I know exactly who you are. Much more than you think.’
Not long ago, I had discreetly brought my mother to see her while she was taking a walk.
The moment my mother saw her in the garden, she lit up and exclaimed,
「That’s the baby!」
…she had said.
I had made sure to ask several times just to be certain.
「Are you sure she’s the one who helped you in the snow?」
「Of course! Isn’t she beautiful?」
Others might say my mother was mistaken.
But I didn’t believe that.
Leticia had helped my mother.
She wasn’t as bad as she tried to convince me she was.
I didn’t know why she was constantly raising her thorns, but I had no intention of being fooled by her harsh facade any longer.
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