It was Annecy, rather than Goyo, who was taken aback by the straightforward response. With a stiff expression, Annecy confirmed what he had just heard.
“I was talking about the young man, Iel Eliom.”
“Yes, Eliom. He resembles Rajin, and as you said, he’s quite handsome.”
When she directly told Annecy that she found him handsome, Annecy couldn’t hide his discomfort for some reason.
What is this feeling? A strange heat rose from deep inside, as if the very bottom of his heart was being scorched by fire.
‘Handsome?’
Annecy, who had crossed paths with him a few times but had never really looked at him closely, squinted slightly as he recalled his face. All that came to mind was a dull, washed-out color, like watercolor mixed with too much water.
“I see.”
Annecy replied as if it didn’t matter, but inwardly, he decided to review the papers of the Eliom family, which he had tucked away.
* * *
After changing into more comfortable attire, the two finished their meal.
Since it had started raining from the previously overcast sky, the atmosphere had dampened, but it made for a more conducive environment for conversation.
Annecy spoke calmly.
“Perhaps tomorrow, we can go look at a dress for the Madam.”
“A dress? Ah, for the hunting tournament…”
“There will be a royal ball as a celebration, though I’m not sure what exactly we are celebrating.”
Goyo nodded at his sarcastic tone. She didn’t understand the pretense of a ball following the hunting tournament either.
It was odd to link a ball, attended by both participants and non-participants of the tournament, with the hunting event.
‘Melissy will likely attend. And Terio Alte as well.’
It was surprising that it hadn’t happened yet, but it was about time for them to start preparing for their engagement, and there was no reason they would pass up such a high-profile royal ball.
Since she had already planned on making excuses not to attend Melissy’s engagement or wedding, Goyo believed that she would never have to see anyone from Rubiette again in her life.
After all, since her marriage, she had only sent one formal letter inquiring about their well-being.
Though the mere sight of them no longer brought up negative emotions, the memories of exhaustion still lingered, leaving Goyo with an uneasy feeling.
“Do I really have to go?”
“It’s not mandatory for you, Madam.”
“And for you?”
“I, unfortunately, came in first place in the tournament, so it would be difficult to skip without a solid reason.”
Recalling the hideous figure of the mermaid, Goyo unconsciously winced.
“But it’s a royal ball. You’ll need a partner to attend. Do you have someone to go with?”
“There was such a rule, wasn’t there? Last time, as the guest of honor, I had the privilege of attending alone, but it’s unclear this time. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t socialize for the sake of forming connections…”
“You really should get into the habit of speaking more directly.”
Annoyed by his playful evasion, Goyo made a direct remark, but Annecy tilted his head, pretending not to understand.
“I don’t understand what you’re saying. Could you speak more directly, Madam?”
“I was suggesting that you ask Rajin to be your partner. If you find it difficult, I’ll gladly help.”
“You truly do need to get into the habit of being more direct.”
No more beating around the bush, then. Annecy shook his head.
“If it pleases you, Madam, would you accompany me to the ball?”
“…Alright. If I don’t, rumors of discord between us will spread, so I have little choice.”
“It would be an honor, Madam. Do you prefer going out, or would you rather have a designer come here?”
“Either is fine with me.”
“Is there a style you prefer?”
“Hmm… I’m not sure.”
“At least a color you’d like?”
“As long as it’s not something too saturated or too bright, I don’t mind.”
Annecy smiled, crinkling his nose slightly at her vague answer. It was a smile that felt out of place, and Goyo looked at her husband curiously.
“Sadly, I’ve failed.”
“Failed at what?”
“Do you remember a similar conversation we had at the dinner table a while back?”
“I remember. It wasn’t that long ago.”
“At that time, I made a decision. I promised myself that next time we had a conversation like this, I would get a clear answer from you, something with definite likes or dislikes.”
“What? Why would you make such a decision?” Goyo asked, unable to hide her bewilderment.
“Consider it a little hobby of mine. I enjoy exploring your preferences in clothes, food, and whatever else you might be interested in.”
“You already know. I don’t have any clear preferences.”
“I don’t think it’s that you ‘don’t have them’; I think it’s that you ‘haven’t discovered them’ yet.”
Pushing away the tableware in front of him, Annecy rested his chin in his hand and looked up at Goyo with his eyes alone. His gaze was quite lazy.
“It’s a story that was in the *Blacost* newspaper. A baron couple had lost their child in the forest, and years later, they found the child again. Because the child had grown up under the care of animals, they said that, when they found him, he was no different from a beast in human skin.”
“I vaguely remember hearing about that. And?”
“Fortunately, the child hadn’t been away long enough to make re-socialization impossible, so after receiving an education, they gradually regained a human-like appearance.
At first, they tried to eat raw meat, feared fire, and would tear apart clothes whenever they were dressed.
Initially, the child focused only on the fact that there was food, rather than the taste of it. If given this, they would eat it; if given that, they would eat that too. But over time, things began to change.”
That story…
“Human senses tend to be dull at first but sharpen with time. Just as artists start with large strokes and then add finer details, I think you’re simply not used to it yet.”
“Are you comparing me to a child raised by animals?”
“There are other examples. For instance, someone who had never known the taste of good food, but after eating a renowned chef’s meal, their palate opens up, and they become a great connoisseur. Or someone who only realizes the value of a meal after being thrown from a life of abundance into scarcity. Ah, that last one was my own story.”
Goyo, who had been about to counter his words, paused when she heard the last part, then let out a soft, resigned sigh.
“There’s no need to go so far with examples to convince me. I can tell that my tastes are becoming clearer too.”
“That’s a statement that stirs my sense of accomplishment, thank you. I’ll continue to work hard.”
“‘Work hard’? What do you mean?”
“As I’ve done up to now—preparing only the best for you to wear, eat, and experience.”
“Have you heard the phrase ‘wasting money’?”
“It’s a wonderful driving force that keeps society running. I’m well aware of it.”
“…I’ve thought this for a while, but you really are a peculiar person.”
“You mean I’m one of a kind. Thank you.”
“How is it that you can always be so positive?”
“If all the circumstances surrounding you are negative…”
His voice was the same as before, calm and composed, but the atmosphere grew heavier.
“Unless you think positively yourself, no one else will say anything good to you.”
“Ah…”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to bring down the mood. I apologize.”
It’s been about four months since the two were married. Although it hadn’t been a long time, for Goyo, when she thought about the time that had passed, it wasn’t exactly short either.
Even though they spent a lot of time together and exchanged words, Goyo had only ever focused on Annecy in the moment. She had never given much thought to his past or future.
She only held in her mind the formal information that he was a royal bastard. In fact, the last time she had even thought of that fact was on their wedding day.
Even then, all she had considered was what he might gain from his hidden lineage, but she had never wondered about how he had lived because of it.
It was, in fact, a natural thing. Even though they were maintaining a good relationship, it was painfully clear that, in the end, their story would be a tragedy.
It seemed foolish and insignificant to be curious about the person who would eventually kill her, or to pity the lonely childhood he might have endured.
But why was it suddenly weighing on her mind? Goyo’s face twisted into a strange expression.
“Don’t apologize. Sometimes, I think the mood needs to sink a bit.”
“That’s true.”
Annecy. Goyo softly called her husband’s name.
It was a sensitive question, but if he didn’t want to answer, he would skillfully dodge it with his smooth words.
Goyo felt irresponsible, but she thought that knowing nothing until the day she died would be worse.
“How did you grow up?”
“What do you mean by ‘how’…”
“If it’s difficult to talk about, you don’t have to. I just thought that I know so little about you.”
“I never imagined you’d want to know about me, Madam. I’m honored.”
At his playful answer, Goyo didn’t look away and responded.
“Yes, I want to know.”
“Pardon?”
“Is that not allowed?”
The slow words carried an oddly intense weight, causing Annecy to hold his breath for a moment.
His slow-blinking eyes, the lashes that followed, and the way his clear pupils seemed shadowed by the damp atmosphere all made him look like his reflection was sinking in water.
The silence deepened due to the man, who had stopped speaking out of bewilderment, and the sound of the rain pouring outside only made the stillness louder.
As though deprived of moisture, despite the damp air, his mouth dried, and his insides felt hot.
Annecy, caught by her unrelenting gaze, unable to tear his eyes away, finally broke the silence with a voice.
…No.
It was a small sound, nearly drowned by the rain, but it was enough to break the silence.
The strange atmosphere began to clear, and Annecy awkwardly continued before the stillness could return.
“When I was young, I grew up in a fairly good environment. Materially comfortable, and emotionally, well… both of my parents were alive. Though not my father, my mother was quite affectionate toward me. Sometimes, it felt a bit overwhelming.”
“I see.”
“And I had one older brother…”
His normally colorless eyes seemed to sink beyond memory.
“He was the only peer I had, so I remember us being quite close.”
“I only had one peer growing up as well. It wasn’t a good relationship, though.”
“You must be referring to Terio Alte. It was the same for me. It wasn’t a good connection.”
Annecy let out a sigh that sounded almost like a laugh.
“He was a selfish and hypocritical person. In some ways, he was extremely human, but I don’t want to sugarcoat it with kind words.
He acted as if he were kind and gentle, but in reality, his attitude was one of bestowing favors in a condescending way. And when he felt he’d suffered a loss, he completely changed his tune and said this.”
‘I shouldn’t have wasted my sympathy on someone like you.’
“After that, I learned just how foolish it is to become emotionally dependent on someone. It’s fine if the person is a good one, but the world is filled with far too many people who aren’t.”
“That’s right, it’s a foolish thing. But, as long as you’re human, it’s also something you can’t help.”
Leave a Reply