On the other hand, Goyo found it surprising how Rajin Eliom acted as if she had committed a grave crime while telling such a story.
She had noticed it little by little before, but the knight before her was very much like the knights from heroic tales, both in appearance and in spirit.
“It’s fine, you don’t need to worry about it. I’ve received help from you as well.”
“Ah, that…”
“If it helps you, I will forgive you. If that makes you feel better.”
Rajin, flustered by her unexpected words, gradually calmed down in the ensuing silence.
Her regained composure whispered to the not-so-dull knight about what the expressionless face before her truly meant—that she hadn’t been hurt or disturbed in the slightest.
Rajin smiled bitterly.
“So, you never expected anything from the beginning.”
If there are no expectations, there’s no disappointment. It was a simple truth.
“I thought the Madam might have considered me a little closer than that.”
“I don’t think it’s any different from what you’re thinking. Of the people outside the household, you’re the one I’ve spoken to the most recently.”
“That’s not what I meant…”
Rajin started to speak, but pressed her lips shut. After all, it was strange to feel hurt when she had been the one who approached with an ulterior motive.
Though she wasn’t a master of eloquence, she had rarely been at a loss for words. Yet in this situation, no matter what words she chose, they all seemed inadequate.
‘Maybe I’m the one who’s disappointed.’
Rajin knew she became attached to people too easily, but she hadn’t expected to feel this way even when approaching someone with a different goal. It made her feel shameless.
Goyo was a type of person Rajin had never encountered before. Calm and composed, her serene demeanor put people at ease.
Throughout their conversations, Rajin had never felt burdened, even though there had been a time when she was supposed to be figuring out how to extract information about her father.
To describe it, Goyo Bethelgius was like the sound of quiet rain in the early hours of the morning. Though, now that she knew her tranquility stemmed from having no expectations of her, it felt a bit different.
Nonetheless, Rajin liked Goyo quite a bit.
Her hesitation in confessing her true intentions was partly because she felt a fondness for her.
Even in this awkward situation, the fact that she was still trying to maintain a connection with her showed how deeply rooted her feelings of genuine fondness were.
“Aren’t you angry, Madam Goyo?”
“I haven’t suffered any loss.”
“I mean emotionally, not in terms of gain or loss. In a way, it could be considered a betrayal.”
“Sir.”
Goyo interrupted her roundabout phrasing with a direct question.
“When you speak so indirectly, it’s hard to understand what you really want to say.”
Rajin parted her lips, then sighed softly. Given how things had turned out, she figured being more straightforward might be better.
“To be honest, I don’t have any close friends of the same gender.”
“That’s surprising.”
“So I find the small connection I’ve built with you to be valuable. If it’s alright with you, would you be willing to be my friend?”
Caught off guard by the unexpected turn of the conversation, Goyo unconsciously clenched her hands.
It wasn’t the first time someone had asked her to be their friend. If she counted the time since her return, it had been over 20 years ago when a boy with the same hair color as the one before her now smiled and said the same thing.
‘We’ll be friends forever.’
At that time, the word ‘friend’ had sounded so sweet.
Both inside and outside the Rubiette household, Goyo Rubiette had always struggled to socialize with others. Even so, she wasn’t completely unfamiliar with loneliness, often stealing glances at groups of her peers as they played together.
When a boy with a bright smile had warmly approached her, Goyo had been so overwhelmed with joy that she couldn’t even hide her overflowing laughter.
Goyo’s only friend had been Terio Alte.
The rest of her peers were either awkwardly mature, approaching her because of the surname attached to her name, or busy ridiculing her quiet and mild nature, like Rante Fritil.
Luckily, Goyo’s loneliness was deep but narrow, and she was content with just one friend.
*Had been*. Yes, it’s no longer a present-tense story.
Pouring all her affection into one person hadn’t ended well, and because of that, Goyo had come to associate all her past relationships with negativity.
‘Spouse,’ ‘lover,’ ‘friend’—every label that had once been attached to him now carried an unpleasant stench.
Yet, one of those labels no longer held the same odor for her.
Was it because the person had changed, or because the relationship had shifted? It was a strange thing.
So, could other things change too? Could the relationship called “friendship” be remembered differently as well?
What did this person want from her? The face looking at her, perhaps a little tense, suddenly seemed unfamiliar.
“Even if you and I were to form such a bond, I don’t think you’d get much out of it. Outwardly, it might not seem like it, but I’m not someone who has a lot.”
“You don’t need to give me anything. Just spending time with me occasionally, when you have the time and the inclination, would be enough. Like… now.”
Goyo found it hard to fully understand Rajin’s intentions, but the time they had spent talking hadn’t been unpleasant. It might have even been somewhat enjoyable.
“Of course, if you don’t want to, you can refuse. I’ll just go back to being a friendless loner.”
“You sound just like my husband when you say that.”
The word *friend* felt unfamiliar, and she wasn’t entirely sure there wasn’t some hidden motive behind it.
However, even if Rajin Eliom wanted something else, she wouldn’t be able to take anything from her.
Goyo, who had left Rubiette, now belonged to Bethelgius, and it was only a matter of time before Bethelgius would abandon her as well.
If Rajin truly wanted to be close to her, it was an unfortunate story.
As Goyo calculated the ever-approaching date, less than a year away, her gaze cooled.
‘I don’t have enough room to pity someone else.’
In a somewhat impulsive moment, Goyo made a quick decision.
If she was curious about whether Rajin had ulterior motives, or if the image of friendship could change, she could find out.
It might have been an impulse, but she didn’t deny that there was a small fondness for her at its core.
“If things won’t be any different from before, there’s no need to make it such a big deal. Sir Eliom. I get bored just looking at the people in the mansion.”
“Ah, with you saying it so easily, I’m tempted to be a bit greedier.”
“Pardon?”
“The title that’s fallen from use hasn’t returned for some time now. I’d like it if you called me by my name, without any honorifics. And, if possible, I’d like to speak more informally. But of course, if that’s uncomfortable, you can refuse.”
“Trying to evoke pity isn’t the best tactic. Sorry, but I’m quite used to that kind of approach.”
Thinking of a face she could now easily picture better than anyone else’s, Goyo allowed a faint smile to creep onto her lips.
“Ah, then I suppose it would be difficult.”
“No. If it’s about speaking informally, I can manage that.”
“Oh… I didn’t think you’d agree.”
“Thanks, Goyo.”
Seeing Rajin smile so brightly, Goyo thought that her popularity wasn’t just because of her handsome appearance.
“Oh, there was something else I forgot to mention. When you asked me what emotion summoned the water spirit before, I said I didn’t know back then.”
“So you did know.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t sure how to explain it at the time…”
“It was resignation.”
Goyo silently sipped her tea. The now-cold black tea soothed her insides with its coolness.
The emotion that had summoned the whale was resignation. The emotions that summoned other elements were much the same, though none of them were particularly positive feelings.
He must have known. Goyo could somewhat understand why he hadn’t told her all this time, but at the same time, she grew curious about how he had interpreted her resignation.
However, such curiosity was easily hidden in front of others.
“Alright, thank you,” Goyo said with a smile.
* * *
By the time Goyo returned to the Bethelgius estate, Annecy had already arrived home.
Seeing his face greet her in the same spot from where he had seen her off felt oddly refreshing. Since coming to the mansion, the farewells and welcomes had always been her task, so it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.
“You’re back early.”
“You’re the one who’s late.”
“You’re usually the one who’s always late, though?”
“I didn’t expect to be paid back for it.”
It was early spring, but the evening air was still cool. Annecy draped a shawl over Goyo’s shoulders and escorted her inside the mansion.
“What kept the conversation going so long?”
“It wasn’t anything important. Just talk about continuing our interactions.”
Goyo felt that reporting what had happened to Annecy was reminiscent of how she used to tell her father about her day as a child.
“I made a friend. I’m not sure if this is how one typically makes friends, though.”
“There’s no need to think too hard about friendship. If you’ve been sharing conversations intimately, that’s all it takes to be friends. You’ve been talking with Sir Eliom quite a bit, haven’t you?”
“Well, yes…”
But she couldn’t quite call it friendship when there had been ulterior motives involved. Goyo considered telling Annecy about the apology she had received from Rajin but ultimately decided against it.
Annecy didn’t want her to know the truth, so there was no need to tell him that she had learned it.
Thinking about it further, Goyo realized that her tendency to let things be as they were resembled Annecy’s way of thinking.
Maybe it would be better to tell him now since the secret guards would report it anyway… Unsure, she furrowed her brow slightly and changed the subject.
“Do you have friends, Annecy?”
“You strike a painful nerve all of a sudden.”
“You don’t? Really?”
“I spend all my time between the capital and the mansion.”
“I thought you’d have plenty of acquaintances.”
“It’s not as though I have no one I associate with, but I wouldn’t call them friends.”
“Doesn’t that contradict what you just said earlier?”
“Regardless of what others think, to me, a spouse is an even closer relationship than friendship.”
“Oh… You were talking about me.”
“There’s no one else I have intimate conversations with.”
“I’m not so sure. There’s probably someone.”
As they entered the main door that Annecy held open for her, Goyo spoke nonchalantly.
“For example, Viscount Perroto.”
“…Madam, you jest too much.”
Annecy’s expression looked as though he had just bitten into something bitter, making Goyo laugh out loud. Her eyes then caught sight of a passing servant, whose hair color reminded her of someone she had seen earlier.
“Come to think of it, I met the Young Lord Eliom as well.”
Though he had a soft and gentle appearance that made him seem somewhat fragile, the resolve that shone beyond his sky-colored eyes appeared even stronger than Rajin’s.
He had been short of breath as if in a hurry, and after learning about Rajin’s situation, he bowed deeply to Goyo and apologized with utmost courtesy.
Though they hadn’t exchanged many words, as it had been late when Goyo was about to return to Bethelgius, the atmosphere he gave off was unique, making him quite memorable even beyond his looks.
“You must mean Iel Eliom. I’ve heard of him. Word is he’ll be inheriting the earldom soon.”
“Yes, he’ll be receiving the title within three months.”
“Now that I think of it, there are other rumors circulating about the Young Lord.”
“Other rumors?”
Recalling the gossip about the famous Eliom brothers, Annecy grinned mischievously. His teasing was obvious.
“Is he handsome?”
“Yes.”
“…Excuse me?”
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