‘Where is this?’
As I opened my eyes, the darkness outside the window had settled in. It seems I had fallen asleep in the carriage on the way back. I rubbed my eyes as I tossed and turned in the white bedding.
My eyelids felt heavy and my vision was blurry from all the crying I had done while sitting on the temple floor.
‘I feel like I’ve slept well but I’m still tired.’
As I looked around the cozy bedroom, which was a stark contrast to the chilly air of the temple, I quickly pretended to be asleep.
The night was peaceful, but there was one problem. Ahin was staring intently at me, chin propped on his hand, dressed only in a robe.
‘Could it be…’
The expression I briefly saw was stern, he was undoubtedly planning to scold me for running away from the temple. Fear struck me and I inadvertently tensed my closed eyes.
Moreover, although I encountered him every night, the sight of his well-built torso exposed through the robe was quite overwhelming.
It was already a challenge to face his beautiful face, let alone get used to such a disheveled appearance.
Even though I am a robust adult who has gone through the coming-of-age ceremony. This defenseless black panther seemed completely unaware of the danger posed by Lady Vivi.
“Hey.”
Annoyance rang in his voice, but I had no intention of opening my tightly shut eyes. If he thought such a provocation would work on me, he was greatly mistaken.
“Crybaby.”
Damn it. Annoyed, I quickly sat up and punched Ahin’s hand with my paw.
He easily blocked my decisive strike and then pressed down on my head repeatedly. I might break my neck if this continues. Stop it, you stubborn beast.
“Aha!”
While I was glaring, I inadvertently made eye contact with the unique red eyes of the black panther and hurriedly pretended to be asleep again. The sound of a leaking wind came as if in disbelief.
“Listen.”
After a moment of silence, chills ran down my spine. Ahin’s fingers were slowly stroking my back. It was a gesture free of any threat, but it inexplicably gave me the creeps.
“Did you know?”
His voice was enchanting, like a siren’s song. I don’t know what it is, but I want to remain ignorant forever. That thought continued as his cool hand touched my back again.
“Beasts have a strong sense of possession, whatever it may be.”
Slowly, the fingers repeated their motion across my lower back at a steady pace. While he often stroked my back in this manner, today it felt particularly eerie.
“Sometimes, if that desire is too strong, they destroy what they possess.”
He seemed calm as if telling someone else’s story, even though he too was a beast.
On the other hand, I wanted to jump up so much that I got goosebumps. The words Ahin was continuing with were definitely not someone else’s story.
“Goodness.”
He wasn’t about to put something in his mouth again, was he? Contrary to my worries, fortunately, nothing happened.
However, I, who had not let go of the tension, was all ears.
“You know I picked you up. That’s why you were able to live.”
After a few seconds of silence, a flat voice was heard again.
“So you belong to me, right?”
The question that followed, seeking confirmation, left me with a dry mouth.
It was a subtle warning that I might rather destroy you if I let you escape. Somehow, I had the feeling that it would be better to escape from this mansion soon. Could it be a misconception?
* * *
Ahin’s mother, that is, Madam Valence and I had recently formed a tacit bond.
The teatime in the rose garden that always takes place at a similar time. There, after Meimi steps back, a secretive action is performed. It was precisely the practice of controlling pheromones.
“Come to the rose garden around after lunch every day.”
Madam Valence suggested to me that my unique pheromones were appearing day by day, and I should learn to control them.
Yes. The strange energy I had felt in my body was precisely pheromones. Though theoretically impossible, it might have been the first step towards humanization.
With burning zeal, I looked forward to this time every day, and according to Madam Valence, I was showing rapid progress.
Of course, I couldn’t verify the sincerity of the compliments. She was being unusually kind to me.
“Baby, breathe slowly. Calmly, right.”
Sitting at the table, I followed the instructions, breathing steadily and focusing on the energy within my body. The energy spread throughout my body felt more stable than in yesterday’s practice.
“Try to gather the pheromones around the lower abdomen as if you’re hiding them.”
Difficult… I didn’t understand what she meant by hiding. As I was trying to figure out her ambiguous explanation, she spoke softly while sipping her milk tea.
“Don’t hurry. You can take your time.”
I nodded and concentrated on gathering energy as she had instructed.
Ten minutes later, as the practice continued, exhaustion inevitably set in. Handling pheromones required a lot of stamina, so much so that I needed a nap time.
“You’ve worked hard. Let’s stop here for today.”
Madam Valence gently stroked my head as I gasped for breath and handed me a book she had been holding. As I looked at her bewildered, her lips curled into a soft smile.
“It might be a silly question for a rabbit like you, but do you know how to read?”
As if enchanted by that smile, I snapped back to reality and nodded.
I had never written in the continental language myself, but fortunately, there was no problem in reading. My mother had not given up hope even after I turned ten and had made sure I absorbed knowledge as a beastman through sight and hearing.
“I will leave this book with Meimi, so try reading it when you have time. It might be quite helpful for you.”
From the moment she recognized my pheromones, Madam Valence had not treated me as an ordinary rabbit.
It seemed that way from the beginning. However, it was also fortunate that she did not take any particular action.
It was hard to understand why someone who had ascended to the head of the household would waste time on me.
「Pheromone Theory」
I looked back and forth between the book and her with a strange feeling.
After tea time, when I returned to my bedroom, I immediately had Meimi secure the thick book. She placed heavy marble on both ends of the book to prevent the pages from turning.
‘Good.’
I pressed the book with my front paws with a serious face. It was difficult to turn the pages with my paws, but as a rabbit, I had no choice. For now, chasing clues about pheromones was my only hope.
‘The definition of pheromones.’
Pheromones are innate scents and energies unique to beastmen, manifesting as special abilities, means of attack, or hierarchical relations.
Rabbit beastmen typically develop pheromones for evasion, but I wonder if I belong to that type. No matter how much I think about it, speed doesn’t seem to be it.
While lost in thought, I continued to read the next chapter and glanced around the empty bedroom.
‘Pheromones and Gender.’
This was also something beastmen were taught from a young age, and I preferred not to read it with others.
There are two rites of passage for beastmen in the continent. One is the sexual rite of passage at fifteen, and the other, the normative rite of passage at eighteen.
Unlike humans, beastmen could enchant with pheromones, so young beastmen often got swept up in their instincts. Hence, it was specified in the norms that after fifteen, they could use pheromones in relationships with the opposite sex.
‘Hmm….’
I frowned and skipped this chapter without needing to scan it further. It was something I already knew well without studying separately.
At some point, the employees of the Rabian household began to regard me not as a beastman, but merely as a pet rabbit, simply because I couldn’t express myself despite having rational thoughts.
It seemed to be around the time of my fifteenth rite of passage that it was explicitly revealed. It didn’t matter much. After all, the life of being despised hadn’t changed.
However, there was one disturbing issue. As a member of the household, I was provided with a luxurious bedroom, but because of my rabbit appearance, I lived on a cushion instead of a bed.
Occasionally, the employees used this fact to use my room for their affairs. Affairs were not possible in the employee quarters, and there were risks of infections in the stables or other places.
“Lord Den, this place seems a bit…”
“There’s no one here, what’s the problem?”
At night, when no one visited, my room sometimes resounded with disturbing noises. At first, they were cautious, noticing that I understood their words, but later they openly made their next appointments.
They knew well. Even if I somehow expressed my injustice, no particular sanctions would follow.
Thanks to the pheromones that flowed between them each time, I didn’t even need to study pheromones related to sex. Most memories of my time in the Rabian household were of this bitter kind.
After turning my body several times, I placed my front paws on the book again. There was no time to dwell on the past.
‘…Huh?’
While I was deeply engrossed in reading, a rustling noise came from behind. Turning my head, I saw Ahin and Everine had entered the bedroom, unbeknownst to me when they had arrived.
Had evening already fallen late? I turned my gaze towards the terrace when I heard a disturbing sound, then turned back to them.
“Ah…”
Ahin, covering his eyes with his hand, banged his fist against the wall. Not just him, even Everine, who always maintained a stoic expression, now visibly twitched at the corner of his mouth.
‘Why are they like this?’
I stared blankly, not understanding the reason, while Ahin was too busy laughing. It was the first time I had seen him laugh so uproariously, though I knew of no such kind of mockery.
“Being with Miss Rabbit, I’ve seen the most extraordinary sight in my life.”
Everine, finally managing to compose his expression, began to speak.
“A reading baby rabbit…! I want to capture this scene in a portrait.”
Finally understanding their reactions, I looked down at the book. Although I couldn’t see myself, imagining a rabbit seriously pressing its paws on a book was indeed ironic.
However, from my perspective, it wasn’t a laughing matter, so my eyes naturally narrowed.
“I feel like I’m going to go crazy…”
“Master Ahin, please calm down. If you laugh too much, Miss Rabbit might feel hurt.”
Everine’s lips were still trembling as he spoke, obviously trying to hold back his laughter. His face was contorted as if he was straining not to laugh, and seeing that expression, Ahin resumed banging on the wall.
With a low sigh, I looked out the window with tearful eyes.
I really hated those ridiculous black panthers. Really.
* * *
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