‘She said we’re a couple, indeed…’
He was accustomed to abuse and massacres, but Damian, who was not yet immune in this respect, was shocked.
It didn’t mean anything bad. From every single word Lilian said, it’s clear that they maintained a fairly normal married life in the future…
It was embarrassing and his face felt itchy.
Of course, judging from Lilian’s plain tone and expression, it’s clear that she meant nothing more than simply sleeping together in the same spot…
“Ah, of course, Your Highness should use the bed. It’s enough for me if you lend me a sofa here.”
…wrong. Totally wrong.
It wasn’t the same bed, but only the same space in mind, even asking for his understanding.
He hadn’t been teased like this before, but it was as if he was teasing himself. Facing Lily’s transparent and clear eyes, the teenage boy barely pretended that he wasn’t trembling inwardly.
Due to his pride, he could never express himself.
“…do whatever you want, whatever.”
“Thank you for your permission.”
Lilian’s expression softened.
“I’m alive thanks to you.”
Although she was easygoing and not very opinionated, Lilian was a noblewoman and a young lady who grew up in a mess under the overprotectiveness of her older brother and grandfather.
No matter how invisible she was, she couldn’t just sleep anywhere. So, she was sincerely grateful to Damian for giving a space on one side of the room to a stranger he had never seen before.
However, Damian was Damian even when young, and he couldn’t be satisfied with just that. As an analogy, if Idoel asked for help, he’d run over, even thinking of picking up his father’s neck if necessary, but he felt like he was just told to pour a glass of water.
‘I heard that the future me did well. Did she not expect even the basic courtesy of giving up my bed to someone who could be as good as my future wife right now?’
Despondent at not being able to see through the steam, Damian crawled into bed without thinking about sleeping.
Of course, Lilian didn’t know Damian’s thoughts and just thought, ‘Since childhood, he had the habit of putting his left foot in first when he goes to bed’ and watched with delight.
“Ah.”
Lily, who suddenly remembered something, approached the bed.
“What?”
“I’ll borrow this.”
“…”
What Lilian picked up was a pillow.
By that point, Damian felt beyond ridiculous and didn’t want to say anything. Lilian, of course, didn’t notice anything about the adolescent boy’s delicate feelings and set the pillow on the arm of the sofa, then took extra sheets to make her bed.
“Your Highness, can I turn off the lights?”
“…do as you please!”
Damian pulled the sheets over his head. Lilian, who worked hard for the first time in a while, thought ‘seems like His Highness didn’t like the light either’ and lowered the intensity.
There was silence for a moment.
“Your Highness.”
“…what.”
A little later, a blunt answer came.
“There’s something I’d like to ask you, but…”
“…but what.”
“If I asked you to go to the future together, would you follow me?”
What nonsense is this?
Damian was puzzled, but Lilian seemed to be serious.
After a while, Damian mumbled under the sheets and answered.
“I’m not going. No, I can’t go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
If he goes, who will protect Idoel, this kind older brother?
Of course, there were knights and servants who swore allegiance to Idoel.
But none of them are strong enough to fill up Damian’s castle.
Besides…
That woman, Lilian, wasn’t technically his wife.
She was Damian’s wife in the future.
‘You’re not my person.’
Clearly, the future Damian, who was said to be good to her, was more important to that woman than the current Damian.
One experience of blindly following someone who had someone more precious than him was enough.
He didn’t want to be miserable anymore.
“I see. All right.”
So even though he thought that Lilian’s voice sounded somehow sullen and thought that his heart was aching for some reason, he kept his mouth shut and didn’t recant his decision. He can’t.
***
Some time passed after that.
Damian thought he’d never be able to sleep in that state.
But contrary to expectations, he fell asleep faster than Lilian.
Lilian didn’t know it, but it’s because Lilian’s presence clearly filled the room. Just by breathing in the same space as Lilian, the boy was able to fall asleep for the first time in a long time.
But it wasn’t a deep sleep.
“Ugh…”
A very faint moaning sound.
The sound was clear to Lily’s ears as even though she worked hard to make her bed, she couldn’t sleep because of what she had seen here.
Lilian carefully raised her body. Damian was lying motionless…
‘He seem to be suffering…’
As if in response to that cautious guess, a slightly louder “keung” groan was heard.
Lilian cautiously rose from her bed. Since she knew Damian was sensitive to presence, she thought that even that much would wake him up. But Damian just moaned more painfully and even tossed over.
She was too worried to leave him alone.
Unable to do anything, Lilian got up from her seat, killed her presence, and approached the bed.
‘Oh my god.’
Damian grunted and broke out in a cold sweat. He looked like he was having a terrible nightmare. Or maybe his body is sick.
The thought that Damian might be sick left her no time to think. Lilian hurriedly put her hand on Damian’s sweaty forehead.
‘Fortunately there’s no fever…huh?’
Lilian discovered a strange phenomenon.
As soon as she touched him with her hand, Damian’s furrowed brows instantly relaxed.
“Haa…”
A sigh of relief escaped Damian’s lips. It was as if he had taken a powerful narcotic painkiller that took effect as soon as he ate it.
On top of that was was the face of adult Damian, who had grown older than she had seen in the barracks.
“More…touch me.”
A hot breath, a face that looked hazy as if drunk.
In turn, similar expressions of Damian that she had seen so far began to come to mind.
For the first time, things like the expression on his face when hugging Lilian like a cat drunk on catnip when he said she needed to take her medicine came like a series of clues.
Until now, she thought that Damian was simply a person who loved skinship, but…
‘…perhaps.’
Lilian carefully removed her hand. A whimper escaped Damian’s lips, and slowly, his brows began to furrow again.
Only then did Lilian get a vague sense of it.
Damian had symptoms of deformity on his body. Because of that, he grew up being shunned by people.
But what if those visible symptoms aren’t everything?
Could it be that Damian is suffering from something, and that skinship with Lilian is a means to soothe the pain?
It may sound like a farfetched guess. But that speculation was explaining the many things Lilian had been through with Damian.
From Damian’s urgent proposal on their first meeting, to his act of needing Lilian more than Lilian, who was actually supposed to be supplied with mana.
Zagreb, who had been silent until now, confirmed Lily’s guess.
-Finally, you’ve reached the answer. Congratulations.
‘That…’
How is that possible?
-More detailed explanation later. Isn’t it more urgent to help your husband?
‘Ah.’
Indeed. Lilian looked at Damian, who was still in pain but couldn’t wake up, and she nodded her head firmly as if determined.
-He’d really like it if you stroked his hair…wait, huh?
Pretending to listen to Zagreb’s advice, Lilian carefully climbed onto Damian’s bed. She then laid her body at Damian’s side some distance away and stretched out only her arm, slipping her hand gently into Damian’s.
Damian’s hand gripped hers tightly as if he had been waiting for it.
He was like a child reflexively grabbing her hand.
-That… Hey, did you just want to sleep holding hands like that?
Lily nodded her head to Zagreb, who asked the obvious.
‘Yes.’
This was the best way to keep in contact throughout the night, even if Lilian fell asleep in the middle.
-Uhhh…alright…well, that’s right.
Zagreb nodded shyly and stayed silent.
Lilian looked at Damian, who was sleeping with a more comfortable expression.
The pain that had been buried deep in that young face was melting.
She didn’t know why Damian was sick or why he felt better when touched by her…she’s just glad she could be of help in this way.
‘I need to take him out of here as soon as possible.’
Strangely, she wanted to see the original Damian as she was comforting Damian’s pain here.
She didn’t feel betrayed by him not saying anything until now.
Damian’s pain, which Lilian saw in front of her eyes, was too deep for that.
It wouldn’t be meaningless to sooth him in this memory, but she wanted to meet and hug the real Damian more than that.
She had no intention of hiding it until Damain spoke first. She didn’t want to scare Damian, who was frightened and cowering.
‘Enough to be able to confide in me.’
She wanted to give him lots of love and trust.
No, actually, more than such a lofty purpose…
“…I miss you.”
Lilian closed her eyes. She missed her Damian.
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