“You must have heard what was said when you opened the door, right? Oh, and come to think of it, your guards also heard. Is that alright?”
“That’s not a problem. They’re my people.”
“You trust them, I see.”
That’s a relief. As Goyo brushed past Annecy, she made her way toward the window. When she pulled back the curtains, the gray sky poured rain in torrents.
A sky the same color as Annecy’s eyes. Staring at the melancholy sky, Goyo began to speak.
“You remember the first night of the ball, right?”
“Of course.”
“And do you remember what I said to you then? When I told you that I knew more than you might think?”
“Was that what you were referring to?”
“Annecy, you really do have a good memory. Yes, that’s right.”
Goyo let out a small, soft laugh.
“What I can say for certain is that I didn’t hear it from my father. But beyond that, there’s really not much else I can answer. Even if you ask how I know, I don’t want to talk about it, and…”
Because no one would believe it.
Who would believe her if she said she died and woke up several years in the past? Even she wasn’t sure if this was reality, despite living through it herself.
Though many strange things happen during the witch’s month, most people would not accept such a story.
If someone had come to Goyo and said such things, she wouldn’t have believed them either. Speaking of something so outlandish would only make her seem suspicious.
Her silence stretched on, filling the room with quiet. Goyo looked over at the man standing there with a serious expression, and her own face shifted subtly.
What is he thinking right now? Is he wondering how to manipulate me to get the answers he wants?
Perhaps he’s even considering a cruel method to force me to speak. Or maybe he’s thinking about looking into my memories himself.
‘Come to think of it, he could really do that.’
As the realization hit, Goyo tilted her head slightly. If he were to peer directly into her memories, he would have no choice but to believe. He would know exactly what the future holds.
And then, he might decide to deal with her, considering her knowledge of too much.
Perhaps he’d feel disgusted, thinking he had been toyed with, and become even more ruthless. Would he treat her more harshly after that?
Instead of fear, Goyo found herself curious. What expression would he wear if he learned everything? What would the man beneath that gentle mask look like? How would all the seemingly kind and caring actions he had taken for her change?
But the silence only dragged on, and Annecy showed no reaction. He just stood there, motionless.
Breaking the quiet with a joke-like tone, Goyo spoke.
“If it really bothers you, you can kill me.”
“…Goyo, please.”
Annecy’s face twisted, and he rubbed his hand across it in frustration.
Seeing his reaction, Goyo thought to herself that it wasn’t yet time for him to deal with her.
A small part of her felt relieved that the mask hadn’t slipped. The tension that had unknowingly stiffened her expression melted away.
Annecy stepped forward, closing the distance between them.
“You promised me a moment ago. Please, don’t say such awful things.”
“It was a joke. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“Please.”
The way his voice sounded, heavy and filled with earnestness, made his wife smile faintly. The sound of the rain continued outside.
Though the heavy silence had been broken, Goyo wasn’t sure how to steer the conversation forward from here. She blinked slowly, deep in thought.
Surprisingly, it was Annecy who spoke first.
“My mother was a maid in the imperial palace. Though I didn’t know the full details until much later, I learned that she had entered the palace herself just before she was sold off as a second wife to a man in his seventies. I hate to put it this way, but the maids of the palace were treated as the emperor’s property.”
Goyo hadn’t expected him to start sharing, so she quietly listened, giving him her attention.
“She eventually caught the eye of the late emperor. She was a woman of exceptional beauty, after all.”
“Annecy must resemble your mother,” Goyo remarked.
“Yes. Though I must say, I’m a bit better looking.”
“You’re ruthless even toward your own mother, that’s surprising.”
“A person must be impartial, even before family. Thank you for the compliment, my lady.”
Annecy laughed lightly, but his eyes were subdued, lacking their usual ease.
“To avoid the Empress Dowager’s gaze, my mother was involved with the late emperor, eventually becoming pregnant with me due to an accident. It wasn’t intentional, as the Empress’s power was too overwhelming. She wouldn’t have deliberately conceived a bastard.
I imagine the late emperor must have consented to keeping me, given that I wasn’t dealt with earlier, but ultimately, it was a mistake for both the emperor and my mother. She was poisoned.”
“…I see.”
“The culprit was likely the Empress Dowager. She couldn’t tolerate the existence of a bastard that would tarnish her honor, or that of the imperial family. Perhaps she intended to deal with me as well, but fortunately… I survived.”
Calling it “fortunate” felt somewhat bitter to Annecy, but, in the end, it was true.
It was Count Eliom who found Annecy collapsed beside his mother’s body. Outraged by Eliza’s death, the count sold Annecy off to a slave caravan.
However, had the count not hidden him away, or if someone like Rubiette had found him first, Annecy would have undoubtedly been killed.
So yes, he had been lucky. That’s how it was.
“I still can’t forget the smell of peppermint from my mother’s body, lying on the floor. For a while, the scent was so nauseating that I would vomit if I smelled it.”
“Are you alright with it now?”
“Yes. Later, I became so stubborn about it that I would go out of my way to find things with a peppermint scent.”
“Pardon?”
“I vomited several times, had countless nightmares, heard my mother blame me in those dreams over and over again, but I kept pushing myself out of defiance, and eventually, I got over it.”
Seeing Goyo’s startled face, Annecy let out a laugh, one that was surprisingly lighthearted, contrasting the grim story he had just told.
“I won.”
“Ah, against the peppermint scent… Congratulations, Annecy.”
“Your reaction is a bit underwhelming.”
“Hmm, but I do find it impressive. I’m the type of person who avoids things I dislike.”
Though she had only meant to humor him, Goyo realized she really did find his persistence admirable. Her fingers lightly tapped against the bottom of the window.
“I used to avoid places where people whispered about me, and I stayed away from flashy clothes because I hated being looked at.
And I was so afraid of being disliked by my family that I avoided doing anything at all. Even though, deep down, I wanted to be loved.”
“I see.”
“Listening to you… I wonder if it was my fault all along.”
“It wasn’t. It’s just different.”
Just different. Goyo hesitated at those words, and Annecy began to share another old story.
“It was during the war. There was a subordinate who had been with me since the early stages. He was skilled, so I thought he’d survive until the end, that we’d return together.”
“Yes.”
“But it turns out he had been poisoned early on. The purification magic didn’t work, and the poison spread through his body, causing intense pain. He was incredibly resilient, but toward the end, it was visible on his face.
If there had been a priest, he might have been cured, but it wasn’t a significant war, so we didn’t have one. In the end, he couldn’t bear the pain anymore and begged me.”
‘Please kill me, Captain! Let me rest. Please…!’
“The other subordinates suggested we cast a sleep spell on him and have someone who wasn’t close to him end his suffering. But I couldn’t do that. He asked me, so I felt it wasn’t something I could avoid.”
“So you did it.”
“Yes.”
“That must have been hard.”
“…Yes.”
Annecy’s reply was faint.
“I had far more nightmares about that than I ever did with the peppermint scent, and I regretted it deeply. I kept thinking I should have pretended not to know. That’s when I realized that confronting everything head-on isn’t always the best solution.”
Even so, he hadn’t been able to change that part of himself.
His gray eyes grew dull, clouded with reflection. His nature—unable to wait, always rushing to clash with whatever stood in his way—had brought him to where he was now.
Annecy Bethelgius had joined the war disguised as a commoner. He rose to the rank of marquis by earning merits, and he uncovered evidence that would bring down Rubiette. Once all preparations were complete, he wouldn’t stop at mere evidence. He would destroy the entire Rubiette family. Afterward, he would reveal his hidden lineage and claim the title of Grand Duke. And if that wasn’t enough, he would kill every royal and seize the emperor’s throne.
The promise he made to Chloe had been a convenient excuse. It was to obliterate Rubiette and free Goyo.
But that’s where the promise ended. No one had forced him to pursue the grand duchy, kill the royals, or seek the throne.
It was Annecy Bethelgius’s own decision, born of his inability to bear the futility of it all.
Waiting idly for things to change had never suited him. That’s why he had ignored the nagging feeling that no matter what he did, the emptiness wouldn’t go away. He just kept moving forward, unable to stop. But now…
“It’s cold today, Goyo.”
“Maybe it’s because of the rain. It was fine earlier.”
“You’re dressed lightly, so you must be cold. You should head upstairs.”
“Alright. What about you?”
“I came out in the middle of work, so I should get back.”
Annecy removed his coat and draped it over Goyo, fastening the buttons one by one. Even though her room was only a few steps up the stairs, making this gesture unnecessary, he didn’t listen when she told him so.
“You’ll be cold on your way back.”
“I’m quite distant from the cold, so don’t worry.”
After buttoning the last one, Annecy pressed a kiss to Goyo’s forehead.
The incomplete nature of their conversation gnawed at her, and Goyo hesitated for a moment. But thinking that her presence would only delay Annecy’s return to his work, she left the parlor after saying goodbye.
A small click sounded as the door closed behind her. Annecy listened to her footsteps fading into the distance, his eyes fixed on the closed door.
And then, slowly, his knees gave out beneath him. He gripped his head with both hands, lowering his face, and squeezed his eyes shut.
His hunched figure and the contorted expression on his downward-facing face revealed his torment.
Why hadn’t he questioned her after hearing such an important secret?
Why hadn’t he asked if she knew Rubiette was his enemy?
Why couldn’t he contain his anger, even though he knew it might jeopardize everything, and instead broke Terio Alte’s hand?
Why had he wanted her to cherish her own body more than anything else?
Why had he felt as though the ground fell out from under him when she joked that he could kill her?
Why had he wanted to swallow her whole, from head to toe, when she answered?
When had that deep sense of futility, which he thought would linger forever, started to vanish?
It was love.
The undeniable name of that emotion, the name of the first spring he had ever experienced, was clearly…
‘Destroy Rubiette. Once you do, she’ll be free.’
‘But if she chooses something else, let her go. If it’s a choice she made herself, it’s the path that will bring her happiness.’
‘But if that’s not the case, then set her free. Make sure she can be freer than anyone.’
‘That’s the promise I want you to make.’
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