The hand that had been fiddling with the teacup’s handle flinched and stopped. Goyo looked at Rajin’s face with an expression that was hard to describe.
“Father… wasn’t a good person. While Mother was alive, he at least pretended not to be that way, but after she passed and he inherited the countship, he wasn’t even human anymore. Despite his lack of ability, he indulged in luxury, frequented brothels, and came home drunk whenever he could.
Even so, Eliom had built up enough power, so he had a bunch of followers trailing after him. Emboldened by that, he did all sorts of things, and eventually, he even resorted to violence.”
“…I see.”
“At first, it was the maids and servants, then the butler, and finally, even Iel. He tried to lay his hands on me too, but thanks to Iel protecting me, I never got hit. But, you know, not being the one hit felt even worse.”
Seeing Rajin’s bitter smile, Goyo’s fingertips hesitated and withdrew.
“So, I picked up a sword. Instead of magic, which takes a long time and yields little result, I turned to swordsmanship, which I was good at. I had been practicing as a hobby, so I knew I had some talent. But from that point on, it was no longer a hobby.
Since Father bowed like a worm to anyone with power, I thought if I became strong with a sword, no one could torment us anymore. That’s why I trained every day. But one day, he just disappeared without a word.”
“Disappeared?”
“Yes. It was during a time when the Imperial Palace was in chaos, so Father’s disappearance got buried in the turmoil. It’s already been 10 years.”
“Ten years… That’s when the former Empress and the Crown Prince—”
“Right. When the Imperial Palace was turned upside down by their mysterious heart attacks.”
Rajin debated whether to add that she was sure her father had a hand in the palace’s upheaval, but lacking any proof, she refrained from saying it.
Instead, she clapped her hands in an attempt to lift the somber mood.
“I’ve been rambling. Anyway, that’s why Iel doesn’t like me wielding a sword. He thinks it’s something I picked up because I was forced to give up what I really wanted to do due to our circumstances.”
“That seems understandable.”
“Yes. And I think it’s also because he knows I still like magic. I can’t pretend to hate it just because he’s worried, so it’s an issue that won’t go away. But it’s not that I want to learn magic. There’s something else I like more than that.”
“Swordsmanship?”
“I don’t regret picking up the sword. Learning the ways of the knight, I’ve become a better version of myself.”
Her bright smile was genuine, the same one Goyo had always seen. Relieved by it, the bewildered Goyo was finally able to smile back.
“You’re right. You’ve become a great person.”
“Well… When you put it so bluntly, it’s embarrassing.”
“It’s the truth, though. Nothing new.”
At Goyo’s words, Rajin’s face became conflicted. She was glad, but not entirely. The emotion that distorted her expression was the guilt she had been suppressing for so long.
The apology that had been rising and falling back down her throat for some time now finally surfaced again. This time, Rajin couldn’t swallow it.
The knight met Goyo’s gaze. Her sky-colored eyes shone with determination, but beneath that resolve, the fear was unmistakable.
“Listen, Goyo. The story I couldn’t tell you before—it was actually about my father.”
“From before… Ah.”
“The reason I approached you. According to imperial law, if someone is missing for ten years, their title is passed on to their heir. Father, who I thought would return soon, stayed missing for so long that as the ten-year mark approached, I had this thought. If he isn’t dead, wouldn’t it be better if he were? Whether he died in an accident or at someone’s hands.”
Rajin paused to steady herself for the difficult confession.
“I planned to kill him. I did.”
The words that escaped her lips were painfully quiet, as if squeezed out.
“But I couldn’t do it. Someone else had already killed that beast before I could. Someone told me, as I was sharpening my blade every day, that someone had killed Count Eliom, and if I was curious, I should confirm it.”
“Rajin, your story…”
“That’s the truth I’ve been seeking. Whether my father was really dead, why he was killed, and who killed him. Only one answer remains. Why did the Marquis himself kill him?
To be honest, I’m grateful. Even though I had resolved to kill him, I always doubted whether I could actually bring myself to strike him down when the moment came.
Even if I did, I would’ve become a burden on Iel for a few more years. I’m not good at hiding my feelings.”
Unable to bear looking at Goyo’s face any longer, Rajin cast her eyes downward.
“I’ve always wanted to tell you. I know how cowardly and disgraceful it is to hide something like this and ask for forgiveness.”
“Rajin.”
“Let me ask you again, Goyo. No matter the reason, I am the unfilial daughter who planned to kill her father, and I approached you to confirm his death. Even so, if you will still allow me—”
A choking pressure wrapped around her throat. The fear was several times stronger than when she had first begun to apologize, and the reason was simple—the feelings between the two had deepened.
Rajin regretted not telling her sooner, but paradoxically, she also thought that because she hadn’t, this moment now existed.
A thin voice slipped through the pressure.
“Could I… still be your friend?”
“Yes.”
“Huh…?”
Rajin thought she had misheard, as the answer came so quickly, without a moment for her to catch her breath.
Seeing the knight whip her head up, Goyo, as if to assure her she hadn’t misheard, repeated her answer.
Naturally.
“Sorry for making you listen to such a long-winded explanation, but even if you’re being serious, it doesn’t sound like such a big deal to me.”
“Uh…?”
“Even if you had come here with the intent to kill me, I probably would have just accepted it.”
“Goyo!”
Rajin shouted in shock, but Goyo’s expression remained unchanged.
Was it really that terrible to feel murderous rage toward a father who had abused her sibling? Even if one could call that act patricide, wasn’t it the father who had first abandoned his duties as a parent?
‘Ah, I see.’
Looking into those clear, sky-colored eyes, Goyo found the answer to her question.
It was because Rajin was human. Unlike her monstrous father, Rajin was a person. And as a person, she felt guilt and suffered from the desire to kill another human being.
Guilt was an emotion reserved for humans.
Concluding as such, Goyo felt a faint bitterness. Despite knowing that the Rubiette family was doomed to ruin, she had never once felt guilt for letting it happen.
That unpleasant feeling found its way out through her lips.
“If we’re talking about being unfilial, I’m not much different. I don’t really care about whether my family lives or dies. It’s not that I’ve ever openly resented them enough to want them dead, but if I had been in better shape back then, maybe I would’ve harbored even worse thoughts than you did.”
“You can’t talk about it so lightly—”
“Now it’s my turn to ask. Can you really continue being friends with someone like me? Someone unfilial, who feels no attachment to family and doesn’t care whether they live or die?”
“…Please don’t say that because of me.”
Rajin, looking defeated, spoke in a small voice, and Goyo laughed aloud.
Rajin glared at her with a sullen expression, but she couldn’t help joining in the laughter after a moment. The peaceful laughter made her earlier serious thoughts feel almost foolish.
After laughing for a while, Rajin straightened up, and the rustling sound from inside her formal jacket reminded her of something he’d forgotten.
“Ah, right. Goyo, since I remembered, here.”
Rajin reached inside her uniform and pulled something out. It was a plain paper envelope, strikingly simple compared to her formal attire.
Curious, Goyo accepted the envelope and opened it. Her eyes widened in surprise.
“In three days, Iel’s ceremony to inherit the countship will take place.”
“That’s awfully sudden. Come to think of it, you mentioned it’s been 10 years.”
“Yeah, it’s already passed.”
What difference did it make whether it was 10 years or 15? The man was already dead. Rajin laughed easily.
“I’d like it if you could come.”
“You make it sound like it’s your own ceremony.”
“It’s not much different from my own. Iel is like a part of me.”
As Goyo traced her fingertips over the letter and thought over the date, she nodded easily. Among her few scheduled appointments, that day was free.
“Sure, I’ll be there.”
* * *
“An inheritance ceremony… you say?”
Annecy’s knife paused at the center of his steak.
“Yes, for the young Count of Eliom—well, I should say Count now.”
“I’ve meant to mention this before, Goyo, but strictly speaking, given the Marchioness’ higher status, you don’t need to use honorifics.”
“If it bothers you that much, fine. Count Eliom.”
“Have you already promised to attend?”
“Yes. This afternoon. There’s nothing else scheduled for three days from now.”
“Even so, it seems rather sudden.”
“She said she thought long and hard about inviting me.”
‘She was worried about whether it would be appropriate to invite me to the inheritance ceremony, considering the story she told about her father.’
As she recalled what Rajin had said earlier, Goyo tilted her head. Even thinking back, she couldn’t quite see how the two were related.
“In any case, since you’ve already mentioned it, it can’t be helped. I’ll clear my schedule for that day.”
“What? Are you planning to come with me?”
“Hmm… Is it improper for a husband to accompany his wife to an official event?”
“It’s not that. I just thought you were busy and wouldn’t be able to come. That’s why I confirmed that I’d go myself—I didn’t expect you to clear your schedule.”
Annecy smiled faintly at Goyo’s apologetic expression.
“You don’t need to worry. Most of the busy work is already wrapped up. Besides, I’d be more upset if you left me out.”
“Would you be upset?”
“Terribly.”
Annecy set down his knife and brushed back the hair that had fallen over Goyo’s face. She hesitated for a moment, but the fluttering excitement she had feared didn’t arise.
Yes, it was all just a fleeting illusion after all.
The woman smiled in relief, and Annecy, unaware of what was going on in her mind, smiled along with her.
“But three days is a bit tight, isn’t it?”
“For what?”
“You’ll need a new dress, won’t you?”
“Huh? Oh, there’s no need for that. You’ve already bought me more dresses than I’ve even worn.”
“I’m aware. But if I recall correctly, you once told me to spend my money as I please. Am I remembering that wrong?”
“You know, but you still want to buy more? There should be a limit to extravagance.”
“There is no such limit.”
At least, not in my world.
His relaxed expression made it clear he saw this as an obvious fact, and Goyo swallowed her words. A long sigh, full of resignation, escaped her lips.
If he wants to spend his money on himself, let him.
“I don’t want to try on a bunch of different dresses.”
“I’ll find the one that suits you best in just one try.”
“Even if the first one is the worst, that’s the one I’ll pick.”
“I’m glad you trust my judgment so much. I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations.”
“If you don’t, then next time, you can’t buy a single new dress until I’ve worn every one I already have.”
“You’re making a wager.”
Annecy’s eyes curved mischievously, completely unfazed by her stern words.
“You may not know this, my lady, but I’m a man blessed with good luck.”
“I don’t see how luck has anything to do with taste. If I say I don’t like it, you’ll have to give up.”
“I’ll take that to heart.”
With Annecy’s nonchalant reply, their briefly paused meal resumed.
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