“…….”
“Mom would have probably said that you should have died. I thought so, too. I should have died instead of Willow.”
I wanted to say that it wasn’t so. It was true that Willow was Mom’s greatest pride. Even I, the youngest, sometimes got jealous, so my twin sister must have felt it even more.
But Mom definitely loved my sister as well. At least she wouldn’t have wished for my sister to die in Willow’s place.
I wanted to say that. But I didn’t know if I should. I worried that speaking rashly might only hurt my sister. So I made a joke that didn’t even fit the situation.
“How would I live if you died? Willow can’t even tie my hair properly.”
My joke worked. My sister gave a slight laugh.
“Right. I stayed alive to take care of you. I lived because of you.”
“Isn’t that so? I’m the best, right?”
“Yes. That’s why I’m nice to you, Hyacinth.”
“This is… you being nice?”
“Oh, come on, should I stop being nice then? Anyway, why am I even talking about this?”
She said that and then turned to the wizard again, adding something I couldn’t tell was a complaint or a compliment.
“You—whether you’re a wizard or a beggar—I’ll admit you do have a knack for making people spill useless stories.”
He nodded as if that was true, then spoke.
“Primrose, that’s just how people are, you see?”
“What is? Again?”
“You can say everything to a stranger. Also… hmm, when you see someone as a bit insignificant, words flow out easily, right?”
Oh no, had I accidentally said something earlier when I was fighting with my sister? Like, ‘You did the same, saying he looked insignificant! That he wasn’t scary at all!’ Or was he really a great wizard who read everyone’s hearts?
I wasn’t sure. Judging from his innocent smile, it didn’t seem so. He smiled like a little angel, and then he said:
“Do you want to see again?”
“See what?”
Primrose asked curtly.
“My child, somehow I, a trivial and unfamiliar person, heard all your stories without permission. But since you refuse my apology, I must do something. I shall cast a spell.”
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
“If you don’t mind, I’ll send you back to that time. Will you see your mother one last time? Will you hear her final words?”
“Ah, enough. Stop selling your potions and just go. I won’t doubt you anymore.”
With those blunt words, my sister acted as though she would guide him straight to the village. She lifted him from where he was squatting, took his scrawny wrist in her hand, and dragged him along.
Aunt, you know how strong Primrose is, right? If it hadn’t been for me, the wizard might have been pulled all the way to Uncle Shawn’s general store, muttering, “Alright, slowly, slowly now.”
What stopped it was me—just twelve years old. I wasn’t as strong as my sister, nor was I as tall as my peers, but I had a stronger will than anyone else.
I clung to my sister’s hem with one hand and the corner of the wizard’s blue robe under his armor with the other, then I plopped right down on the ground. I begged like a seven-year-old child.
I said we should do as the wizard suggested, that if it was possible, I wanted to go back to that time.
I said it was fine even if I hurt my leg again. I insisted that I wanted to see Mom’s last moments clearly once more.
Instead of screaming and crying, I planned to go up to her, speak into her ear, and say I love her one last time. I demanded they not take that chance away from me.
To be honest, I was scared. It had been so cold and painful then. But no matter how big the pain, we can endure it for a moment, right? The wizard said we would only visit for a very brief time.
“Doing everything from the very beginning was never an easy task. Even if you tried, it’s hard to change much. So I would show you briefly. Only for a short moment.”
That much was fine, right? Because it meant I wouldn’t have to lie in bed for a whole year again, just listening to the neighborhood kids playing outside the window without being able to join them.
I told my sister, ‘Please.’
I begged her, with a desperate face, to let me see Mom just once more.
But truthfully, it wasn’t solely for my sake. I felt that it was something my sister needed, too.
I wanted her to hear Mom’s last words for herself. If it really was, ‘Primrose, you should have been the one who died,’ then I could curse Mom all I wanted, together with my sister.
I could even go up to Mom’s ear and say, ‘I love you, Mom. I’m sorry you died saving me, but you were a bad person.’ That might have put my sister’s mind at ease.
Of course, I didn’t say such things there. I just kept insisting that I, too, had the right to see Mom and Willow again. I told her she never thought of me, that I also wanted to see them again.
You know, Aunt. My sister was mean, nagging, and did whatever she wanted—like how she went out to play with Leon now while making me write this letter. But in the most critical moments, she always gave in to me.
So in the end, this time too, she reluctantly nodded.
“All right. I don’t know what you’re going to do, but do it.”
Then she looked at me and said something spiteful.
“Nothing’s going to happen anyway, so don’t be disappointed, Hyacinth.”
Honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about.
This was the very person who created a magical barrier and drove away the Frost Moon snowstorm in the western forest, after all.
I spoke to the wizard, who was smiling slyly with a twinkle in his eye.
“I believe everything you say, Wizard.”
He smiled again like an angel. He fiddled with a bracelet hanging near the protruding wrist bone between his long arm and large hand. He glanced once at the strangely twisted bracelet, then at us sisters, letting out a groaning sound, “Uuuuuum.”
It was the same sound my great-grandmother made when she touched her back and said, ‘I wonder if it’ll rain tomorrow,’ and I was thinking that useless thought when he suddenly broke into a wide smile, as if he had come up with a good idea.
Then he plucked two clovers from the grass he had been sitting on, grabbed their tender stems, and tied them with some effort into rings.
It felt a bit thrilling when he placed one on my hand and one on Primrose’s hand, as if he was someone playing house.
He let out a cheerful laugh as I opened and closed my hand, looking at the green plant wrapped around my finger.
Then he closed his eyes. His long lashes brushed against each other with a soft swish, making a pleasant sound like rustling grass in the wind. Listening to it, I found my eyes closing on their own. I felt drowsy, as if by magic. Primrose probably did, too.
That was everything, Aunt.
Like watching a drowsy puppy nodding off without sleeping, finding it cute, then dozing off myself, we naturally followed him from the edge of the western forest into somewhere as deep as night.
I felt a bit dizzy. I saw those sparkling stars I usually only saw when I sat with my knees drawn in, pressing on my eyes. As soon as we were drawn into that tunnel-like darkness, black and blue, a tremendous noise erupted.
Our house, which once had been our home, was on fire. The cannon with wheels was scorching the tree that had stood next to us and, until just a moment ago, a neighbor lady who lived next door.
And there was one more thing. A shell that I used to think was just a black stone when I was younger was coming straight at us.
Willow ran alone to the right. Primrose grabbed my hand and ran. Then I tripped like a fool. Off in the distance, an archer bearing the royal emblem of Reutlingen on his chest aimed his bow at me.
He intended to take my life, but luckily, the arrow lodged in my leg. Mom had used all her strength to push me aside.
Well, having a poison-tipped arrow stuck in my leg was terrible to go through again. Even though I wasn’t seven anymore, tears streamed down my face just like they had back then.
Mom had no time to comfort me. Because Primrose, being a fool, was running toward me—even though there was an archer with a bow on one side and soldiers with swords and spears right in front—fearlessly charging straight into the enemy lines.
Normally, my mom was never fast at anything, waddling around like a chubby bear or a slow-moving sloth. But this time, she sprang up like a rabbit. And without a moment’s hesitation, she embraced my sister.
Arrows rained down on her body. Swords and spears were driven in as well. With a loud boom, a shell fell where Willow had been running, and I think all of it happened at the same time.
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